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He says 'no' but his actions say 'yes'

Tagged as: Dating, Faded love, Friends<< Previous question   Next question >>
Question - (20 November 2009) 2 Answers - (Newest, 20 November 2009)
A female United States age 26-29, anonymous writes:

not long ago i told someone i had become very very close friends with that i like him and want a relationship. he said no because he does not need someone like that right now. so i was left wondering what to do.

after a bit of a confusing few months for the both of us i have declared to him that i want to go back to how we used to be before, but i accused him of treating me in an affectionate way which made me believe there was more than friends at the heart of our relationship after he said no.

we are back to normal but is it fair on either of us that i continue to have feelings which i cannot fully understand myself and that i accused him of doing things he denies. i think that like before, we will go back to acting and being like a couple towards each other. i wonder if he is like this with me, a friend, how he plans to treat his girlfriend/ wife.

my friends dont respect my decision to go back to normal after he denied any type of wanting for a relationship though he has not up to date denied he likes or has 'feelings' for me.

i just want some thoughts on what other people think about the situation...

i now have a feeling that we will carry on as we are and have in the past and that ill like him immensely but will end up marrying someone else without ever knowing truly what the deal was and think something like that will ultimately break me because he says no but acts yes.

i say acts speak louder than words, he says he never said he wanted anything

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A female reader, anonymous, writes (20 November 2009):

i told him and he said exactly he does/ did not realize. ive told him, i guess i have feelings for him whilst he remains normal. its so sad

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A female reader, anonymous, writes (20 November 2009):

Could be he doesnt realize how the way he treats you puts ideas into your head. Next time he treats you as more than friends, say no.

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