A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:Dear cupid, I've met the most amazing man and we just totally click, we have the same thoughts and same tastes in music and film. We are very easy going people and have been very open with eachother for the whole month we've been together. I love him and we believe that we are actually meant for eachother, soul mates. However, one thing that's leaving me dubious about this relationship is ; he keeps mentioning his ex. They were together for 5 years and he's told me that the relationship was a shambles, apparently she was so obsessive and controlling. Everything he mentions is negative about her, they have been apart for 10months now. Its like he compares me and her, he always says that he's so glad he's met me because I'm so different to her and that he loves me more than he ever loved her... He drives an hour each way to see me and says he never did that for his ex. Should I worry.. Is he over her? Help, I really love him.
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his ex, soul mates, soulmate Reply to this Question
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
female
reader, chigirl  +, writes (25 October 2011):
 He's probably not feeling romantically for her any longer, but at some level he's not "over" her. He's not indifferent towards her, and he mentions her a lot which shows she's still on his mind. Just tell him that this makes you feel uneasy, and that you'd rather not hear about his ex any more.
Once he stops talking about her you'll feel better about it. Some guys just don't know that you're not supposed to talk to your new girlfriend about your ex. He can talk to his buddies about that, but not you.
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (25 October 2011): Your boyfriend is probably over his ex but since he did use to love her and has been with her for 5 years, he might still have a few lingering feeling about her. I would consider talking to him about dealing with this issue he has about comparing you to his ex, which I suppose you definitely don't appreciate.
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