A
female
age
41-50,
*kazik
writes:I have been dating the my boyfriend for more the 5 yrs. 4 1/2 of them we have lived together. Our biggest problem over the years has been the fact that he is more interested in having fun money then money for bills. I own my own house and make more then him so we didn't split the bills 50/50, but when we started falling behind I continued to tell him that he needs to help out more and I got a 2nd job. I finally talked to him because he just wasn't getting it and suggested he get his own apt. He has never lived on his own before and he is 40yrs old. We decided that we both love each other and don't want to split up, but I said that he needs to know what it is like to actually have to be responsible for paying bills and not just having fun money. He seemed to be having a really hard time with everything but as soon as he moved out that changed. I am the one who is a wreck and he has been going out everynight and told me that he needs time to actually miss me. I can't understand how after being together so long he can't be missing me and I don't know how long I should wait until I finally tell him that he has taken enough time and I need to move on with my life. All I do right now is watch my cell phone hoping he will call and he hasn't. He claims he loves me and doesn't want to lose me but his actions are the exact opposite.
View related questions:
money, move on, moved out, split up Reply to this Question
Share |
Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
female
reader, jkazik +, writes (3 April 2009):
jkazik is verified as being by the original poster of the questionAfter this post he ended up calling me and things seemed to be going well. He said that he does miss me and everything we had. But I am starting to think he is just playing head games. I had an extra couch, dvd player and end table that I told him he could use because he doesn't have anything. And since he's gotten this stuff he has been different. I am just getting tire of being the one to put everything I have into saving what I thought was real, just for him to take advantage of the situation. Everytime I try to tell him how I am feeling he said that I am an idiot and am blowing everything out of proportion. I feel like I am going crazy. My mind says just get your stuff back and move on with you life. There has to be someone out that isn't so selfish. But my heart keeps saying that maybe I should just give it more time, or maybe I am overreacting, ... I just wish I could find the strength to move on and be happy again.
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (18 March 2009): Well it sounds like he has NEEDED and depended on you for so long that he is taking this time to see if he also WANTS you. You said that he says he loves you and wants to be with you so I would guess (unless he lies to you!) that this is true. Realize that he is probably almost rediscovering himself and his independence and because he is not the same as before, it doesn't mean he's stopped wanting to be with you.
Talk to him... that's the only way to know for sure and not waste time!
Good luck!
...............................
|
