A
female
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anonymous
writes:My boyfriend of a few months says he loves me, but I don't feel like he loves me. He tells me this all the time, but at the same time he still talks about his exes and how better they were at certain things than me. I kinda feel like he just loves the idea of a gf rather than me personally. Before me, he went from gf to gf with little time in between. He has told me that he wants to marry me in a few years and start a family because he loves me so much. I don't know why, but I just feel like he isn't too sincere. Maybe our relationship needs more time, but how can I tell if he REALLY loves me like he says?
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reader, Martyrmachine +, writes (17 July 2006):
 He couldn't love you. loving, should be more like him liking you very much for who you are, despite your bads. loving boyfriends, shouldn't bring up things like that, or avoid bringing up ex's. He most likely is bringing them up to provoke you be more sexual with him, besides, i couldnt tell at 2 months if i loved someone or not. i know this guy who goes out with this girl and he said he loved her on the second day - that cant be possible.
point it, just cause he says he does, doesnt really mean.
and that exes thing - well i think he might be manipulating you to make you fulfill his sexual fantasies or whatever that is that he wants.
A
reader, anonymous, writes (17 July 2006): You need to bring this concern up with your boyfriend. The fact that he compares you to his ex-girlfriends can never be a good thing, and is also very damaging to a person's self esteem. You don't need to measure up to past girlfriends if you're the love of his life like he says. He should love you for you, not for who you act like or compare to. I know from personal experience that it is very easy to fall in love with a relationship and not the person you're in it with. The idea just seems perfect. Obviously I don't know this guy, so I can't make any judgements on his character, but if he's bouncing around from rebound to rebound, he's probably not about ready to settle down, at least not with you. I'd say it's time to sit down and have a heart-to-heart with your guy and tell him everything you're feeling. If he really loves you and wants to make things work, he'll listen.
I wish you the best of luck with this. I hope everything wotks out okay for you in the end. Stay strong!
~RJGirl
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