A
female
age
41-50,
*ofreakingconfused
writes:I don't know what to do anymore, I need some advice on how to deal with my boyfriend. Unfortunately I think I know what I should be doing, but if anyone can give me any other advice, I'd love to hear it. Here's the deal ... My bf and I have been together for almost 2 years now, it was love at first sight and it felt so right. we moved in together after only 7 months of dating, and are still living together. This past week he has told me he wants to take a break, he wants to move out and he want's to be alone. He is in the process of deploying for Iraq, and says that he's so afraid I'm going to find someone else while he's there, or that something will happen to him - thats why he's doing this, to save us both a heartache in case it would happen. I've told him that it is my choice to be miserable while he's gone, hoping for the best. We knew this going into the relationship that he would deploy to iraq again, but I never saw this coming. I know he has been talking to another girl. He lied about it, and I found out (saw the txt messages) - but he says shes just a friend, he hasn't done anything with her - yea - he likes her, but he doesn't want to be with anyone at all. He wants to be alone right now.He's so confusing, I've tried to talk to him -but he can't give me any answers on why he's so confused. He can't tell me why he's so afraid, and one minute he tells me he's gonna stay with me until he leaves, we'll make the best out of the time we have togther, and the next second - he's saying he think he should be moving out and we should not pretend to be together anymore.I'm SO scared to loose him. I've asked him if he can see a life without me (because we talked about marriage and everythign when he gets back from Iraq) and he says he does not want a life without me. He says he's terrified of loosing me, he loves me more than anything else in this world and I'm the best thing that ever happened to him. He says I make him happier than he ever thought he would be, and that the relationship is perfect - but he just can't do it anymore ???I DON'T UNDERSTAND! pls, just some thoughts on what to do - give him space, give him time .. but the thing is we don't have much time. He's leaving for training in the end of august, doesn't return until october - and then only two months until he deploys for 15 months. I don't want to loose him, I love him more than anything in this world - but I just don't know what to do anymore ...
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female
reader, sexi  +, writes (26 July 2007):
 Hi, Your bf does have some issues that he has to deal with on his own - It's not right that he is playing you around like that. Give him some time to sort things out. Before he leaves for Iraq, find ut where you stand with him (whta his intenetions will be should he get back).If he is still confused than maybe you should move on and the fact that e would be away, should make it a tiny bit easier. There is definately someone out there that loves you and will appreciate your love.It is clear you love him alot but you need that love to be returned to you. Give him one more chance and tell him that his indecisiveness is not fair to you.you need to know where you are heading. Get an answer from him and then you would know waht to do.Good Luck, Let me know what has happened
A
female
reader, nailglitter18  +, writes (26 July 2007):
 Well, if you really want to keep him, if you really love him, I'd sit him down and talk to him again. Maybe something to the effect of: "I understand that you're afraid- so am I. There are a lot of changes going on in your life. But I want you to know that you won't lose me to anyone else. I'm here for you, I always will be. If you choose to leave me, then that's your *choice*. But know that I love you very much, and I'd rather be miserable knowing that we're still together, than be miserable thinking you're out there in Iraq without my heart by your side..."Well, maybe that got a little poetic... But support him, tell him your side, and point out that a decision like this takes both people in the relationship. It's not fair for him to make the decision that affects both of you.And bottom line, if he's still like this, maybe he's just looking for a way out. As a Marine girlfriend myself, I sympathize.. it's so hard, dealing with orders and such. If you know what you need to do, then do it. But if you want to give him another chance, at least you know what I'd say! lol...Good luck, please let me know how it works out. God bless your boyfriend, I hope he returns home safely at the end of his deployment.
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