A
female
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes:I met a guy at work recently and we started sleeping together, I have started to get a bit attached to him and told him, only for him to tell me that he couldn't cope with a relationship right now and could we remain sex buddies for the duration, untill things need to change. I was fine with this as I haven't been in a great state over men recently, he said it wasn't exclusive and thus i could sleep and so could he with anyone i liked.I didn't think about doing so but ended up in bed with an ex but now i feel really guilty i don't know what to do.
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male
reader, anonymous, writes (27 August 2007): Sleeping with an ex in that situation is usually a bad idea.But even so, realize that when a guy makes a point of saying "we're not exclusive" than means he's either looking elsewhere or he likely already IS elsewhere.
A
male
reader, Danielepew  +, writes (27 August 2007):
 As to the relationship with the first guy, the one who "can't" be in a relationship for the moment, he is a sex buddy. If you're fine with this, regarding him, then it's OK. And he can't say anything about this, nor should you feel responsible or guilty regarding Mr. Can't.
As to the second guy, who was an ex. that's more complicated. Does he want you back? If he does, I think he would be a better option than Mr. Can't. I don't think you should feel guilty about sleeping with Mr. Ex, since he doesn't have any "rights", either.
However, sure you can feel guilty for yourself. Or, to use a better word, "awful". Think whether your current situation is what you really want. If it is, then don't feel guilty or bad at all; if it isn't, then just don't continue with it.
Take care.
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A
female
reader, hlskitten +, writes (27 August 2007):
 Hiya,
Hey stop with the guilt! You dont owe this guy anything. You both agreed you were free to do what you liked. Do you think he hasnt used that advantage too? You havent agreed to give each other details when you do have you?
I really think you need to chill about it. It goes both ways remember!
I just hope you can handle the fwb thing. Hats off to people that can, i know i couldn't. But you are younger than me. It makes more sense really.
Good luck.
C xxxx
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