A
female
age
41-50,
anonymous
writes:Well my problem is that I work in a field where mostly men work, which would be programming. I'm a pretty girl I think and Im usually told that, but recently I dont like myself in the mirror, I am well rounded, I like going out, shopping, make-up,I go to the salon like most girls... but i also like to read, program, practice sports, camp..well, I enjoy a great variety of things.The problem is that I am the administrator of this project, and I've heard, read very nasty comments about myself by accident. For example we all talk over Skype, and I read this guy saying I had the voice of a whore. Well, I don't try to make any voice, and people usually tell me I sound too serious... so... I am not sure what to make of this. I always keep self doubting myself, I try not too but I keep worrying about how others see me. My boyfriend tries to enourage me, but still I've never felt so alone. On my face people are nice , but i've recently had too many deceptions with my friends/acquaintances...I keep hearing nasty rumors about myself and I swear I never given any sort of lead to anyone to think badly of me, I am always polite to everyone, and Im not too intimate with anyone,and I don't flirt with anyone... what am I doing wrong?Am I being childish?What cna I do to feel better about myself?Thanks...
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female
reader, Tigerlily +, writes (13 March 2010):
Men are stupid. The voice of a whore? what on earth does that mean? Unless you are talking about sex, what exactly does a "whore" sound like? That's just plain dumb. They say stupid things like that probably because they think you are very pretty but know they can't date you, so by being mean and petty it's a way of making themselves feel superior since your beauty intimidates them.
I used to work in an office and I found out after i left they had a nickname for me implying I had a sexy voice. I also found out that one of the maintenance guys used to tell everyone he'd see me out on Saturday nights and I was "wild". Total lies... I had a BF and rarely went out Sat nights to clubs etc. and when I did I never ran into that guy or did anything wild. So its nothing to do with you, it's just guys being dumb and "machismo". Take it as a compliment, realize they are pathetic and the reason you are getting this attn is because they find you attractive, and don't let it get to you.
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