A
female
age
41-50,
*unshinesomwhere
writes:Hello everyone. I'm having intimacy problems with my bf. I'm a woman who is very used to have intimate relationships with my partner more than once every 7 days. For the past two months, its been only once every 7 days. I always initiate. Always. And on the rare occassion he does initiate - its so plain. A tap here, a touch there. Nothing passionate, nothing that will trigger anything significant. Its so plain that I will completely be unaware that he's trying to "initiate" because its like nothing. And when I do, he tells me he's too tired and falls fast asleep. Bedtime is really the only time we have, since I have a small child. But still, really? Too tired for - you know...? I'm really starting to wonder what's going on - is there someone else? I haven't been given reason to think so, but the lack of "intimacy' is really making me start to wonder.Any suggestions as to what may be going on?Thanks. Reply to this Question
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
male
reader, Denizen  +, writes (5 October 2009):
 The other thing I forgot to mention is timing. Men are often quite horny first thing in the morning. With women it can be last thing at night. Problem - he is tired from work perhaps and just wants to sleep.
You can find a way around this.
A
female
reader, sunshinesomwhere +, writes (5 October 2009):
sunshinesomwhere is verified as being by the original poster of the questionThank you for your responses - I try, trust me I try.
Oh, well. I feel very unattractive to him. Almost depressing.
Thanks again for responses.
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (4 September 2009): This is hellish. The man with the low libido can play havoc with a woman's self image. He may be stressed, ill, or something is affecting his sex drive. If he was passionate and loving before it can be ignited but only with good communication. Try to talk to him about what the reasons are, but in a non blaming fashion. x
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A
male
reader, Denizen +, writes (4 September 2009):
Some men need more encouragement. Why should it be they who have to initiate lovemaking. Do you kiss and cuddle to let him know you are feeling receptive? Some me are forceful and take what they want when they want. They can be criticised for being selfish and aggressive. You are lucky to have an even playing field. Women are meant to be seductive so get to it. He should be begging you if you do it right.
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