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anonymous
writes: What should I do with a man I care about, who doesn't seem to appreciate nor respect my thoughts and opinions. Everytime, he goes on a mission to prove himself 'right' and that my opinions never count for anything. I admit, he and I are different but up until lately, I had always thought we complimented each other. (We are both in our mid-40's). I have raised a family, so I learned a long time not to sweat small stuff, I'm quite patient, pretty relaxed and congenial. I do take a stand when I am being treated with disrespect and I do set boundries in a firm but calm way.(he needs this sometimes) I really like who I am. But I don't think my bf respects nor even likes me! He is kind one day but seems insecure, jealous and needy, the next day. He can be critical, demanding and acts hardnosed, selfish and petulant, much like a spoiled child when he can't get his own way. I deal with this as best I can but it is carving a larger hole in my heart. I find myself wishing he would just give me space and stop nagging me. Oh how I want some peacefulness. I have tried to sit him down and discuss these issues, rationally and maturely, but he gets mad and grasps at straws to make me feel insignificant. I am thinking of going it solo because the stress is incredibly hard, somedays. The toughest part is I find myself having self-doubts about 'me'. Why do men do this to women? Am I doing something wrong? Or Are we just too different?
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reader, anonymous, writes (11 March 2006): No worries, glad to be of help. I have dealt with these people before and it is never a pleasant experience. If you value your self esteem and yourself, you will get out of the relationship before he screws you up.
Good luck and let us know how you get on.
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reader, anonymous, writes (10 March 2006): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionThank you, anon reader. I did do a 'google' search and you may be right on the money. I was shocked at what leaped out of the page at me. The thing is, he never showed these traits in the beginning, but I think he was smart..he kept it underwraps. The selfishness is something I have such a hard time with. It's like the world has to 'revolve' around him. It made mention of distancing oneself from a person like this and in hindsight, I have already done this very thing, many times without really aware I am doing it. It's like the survival mechanism just automatically clicks in. It does say people with this personality disorder are very hard to treat because in their mind, they think no one is right, but them. Such a sad realization but I think in order to remain the person I am, I will have to go it alone. It's really sad, I don't even look forward to him coming here, anymore. Thanks for your insights. Well appreciated.
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reader, anonymous, writes (10 March 2006): Your man is a narcissist. Do a google.
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