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female
,
anonymous
writes: I met a guy from online..we spoke and texted for a week prior and got along great. We met in person and seemed to have a good time as well. We were in alot of contact or some form of contact each day since we started talking either through text or a phone callWe have been on the three dates..He still logs onto the site which I am guessing is still normal at this point. I am starting to feel like the communication isn't as often though. He's been nice with asking me out but I feel like the texts or calls aren't as frequent. We went out the other night for most of the day and night. This was our third date. We seem to have a good time and made out more etc but nothing too too physical. He mentioned doing something for the 4th of july and how some people he knows might be getting together and asked me to come.I decide to call him last night just to say hi. I didn't feel like the call was overly welcomed in a sense but think maybe he's just busy with other things or stressed about certain stuff. He did mention those plans might cancel because the weather is supposed to be bad but will let me know tomorrow. Tomorrow is here and 11:30 at night and no call or text about the 4thI am not sure if i should take a stand tomorrow if he does decide to ask me and just say I didn't hear from you either way about what was going on so i made other plans. OR--go with the flow and see him if he asks because I feel with online dating things can fade rather quickly without seeing each other in person and we may not be able to see each other the next few days after due to our schedules.What should I do???
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female
reader, Dorothy Dix  +, writes (5 July 2012):
Hi there. Because you are actually seeing each other now, well then there is not so much of a need to just text or chat on line, is there?
So that's why they are less frequent.
Phone calls are okay though. Because that's how he gets to ask you out.
When you called him the other night, he might have been busy, although it does seem, more like that he was slightly annoyed that you called him.
It's like crowding his space.
It could have made you appear as needy and desperate, and men don't really like women acting that way at all.
So all the more reason for you to wait and let him chase you instead.
Even with modern times, men still prefer to do the chasing and conquering.
If you let him come to you, it shows him that you are a strong, confident, independent woman who has a life of her own and her own friends and interests, and it makes him wonder what you could be doing when you are not with him.
In short, it makes you interesting and a challenge.
And men LOVE to be challenged.
You see, each time you call him, it then appears to him that you are just sitting around waiting for him to call.
Even if that's not what you do, it will still appear that way to him.
Which then means, that your happiness is dependent on his existence in your life.
And that could make him feel great pressure, to make you happy.
So don't call him anymore now, or text or chat - let him call you instead.
Let him initiate any further contact, from now on.
Which means, that you will need to be patient.
A
female
reader, aunt honesty  +, writes (5 July 2012):
 Really this is your choice to make, I must admit it sounds rather rude to me that he did not contact you today after saying that he would, please don't pin your hopes on this man because it sounds to me like he might be losing interest. Maybe I am wrong however and he is just terrible at keeping in contact and keeping his promise. I just don't want to see you get hurt so for now keep him at arms length, let him be the one to contact you and see if he can put in a bit of effort to get to see you.
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