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He loves me but is not 'in love' with me. What should I do?

Tagged as: Age differences, Dating<< Previous question   Next question >>
Question - (6 March 2010) 1 Answers - (Newest, 6 March 2010)
A female United States age 30-35, anonymous writes:

I have been seeing a man off and on for a year and 2 months. He is 10 years older than me and successful.

We were casually hooking up last year and I stopped talking with him because I felt like he was only seeing me when it was convenient for him and refused to view me seriously because of my age.

Four months ago we got in touch again and now he is beginning to tell me the truth about his past and relationships. He admitted that he fell in love with a woman when we were apart and she broke his heart because he wasn't "man enough" to care for her. Now he tells me that he is still emotionally attached to her although he has been sleeping with me.

I dated an African-America man during this time and he uses his personal "preferences" as an excuse not to kiss me. The other problem is that my family dislikes him and my friends worry because his personality is "off".

Despite all these signals I love him but I am aware of the fact that I am young and will change in the future. The problem now is that I am investing alot of time in the "relationship" and helping him alot with work and he tells me he isn't in love with me yet loves me. What should I do about the situation? I don't want to just waste my life/youth on a man who won't love me.

View related questions: fell in love

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A female reader, Auntie E United States +, writes (6 March 2010):

Auntie E agony auntRun - do not walk to the nearest exit! This guy is using you. You know this. What? Not kissing you because you went out with a black man - but I'll bet he's having sex with you! Why would you allow this sort of treatment from a man? This is not what love looks or feels like What a freaking creep! When family and friends do not like a partner there is generally a very good reason. Listen to them. You are being used for sex - is this what you want? Why do you think so little of yourself? THINK.

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