A
female
age
,
*hirdtxsacharm
writes:I am 48 and my boyfriend of 5 years is a very young 56. He enjoys very much looking at other women and watching movies with naked women but he will not have sex with me. He has pushed me away so many times that I do not even try anymore. We go 6 to 8 weeks without sex and then I get upset so we finally have sex but it's quick sex. He has NO PROBLEM getting hard and has a organism quick. Is this the norm? Reply to this Question
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female
reader, thirdtxsacharm +, writes (11 July 2009):
thirdtxsacharm is verified as being by the original poster of the questionWe are both retired and pretty much together all the time so I know he is not cheating on me. He is a retired cop but also he's a DJ for wedding's etc.... He is attractive for a 56 year old and very much so a flirt! He likes checking out beautiful ladies of all ages for sure and will sit right beside me on the couch and put the TV on a movie of High school kids playing little games just to see a naked girl. He get's a lot of porn through his emails from his buddies etc..... I am not a bad looking 48 years old woman so I think he's just not attracted to me anymore. He is very sexual in the beginning but then nothing for weeks. I watch him walk through HEB or Costco checking out women non stop and never looks at me twice. If I try to touch him he slowly turns his back to me or moves my hand away. I have to get pissed off and then he me will have sex with me maybe within a couple of days after that and even then it's on and off. I have talked to him about it and he knows I am not happy but nothing changes. I think about sleeping with my ex boyfriend all the time. I miss having arms around me.
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (11 July 2009): You are busy trying to work out what is wrong with your boyfriend I would stop that and focus on yourself. What I mean is.... you need to decide what is and isn't acceptable to YOU and tell him that. Explain that you are disatisfied with the amount and quality of the sex you are having and that is making you very unhappy. If he then makes no effort to improve the situation or to make you happy or to satisfy you then you have absolutely all the evidence you need to realise (wake up to the fact) that he doesn't care about you. A loving man is bothered about his partners satisfaction and happiness. You have a selfish man on your hands I'm afraid but give him one chance to change. Stop making excuses for him (it could be this or that). The fact he manages an erection and is clearly still sexually active emotionally by looking at other women, makes me suspiscious and I think he just does not care and can't be bothered with you which is hurtful and disrespectful to you. Do not put up with this otherwise your esteem will be severely affected.
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A
female
reader, creamsauce +, writes (11 July 2009):
A couple of possible reasons why he isn't having sex with you:
He's doing it with someone else.
He's not interested in you anymore. Or rather, he's not attracted anymore. (Sorry for the harshness.)
He's very stressed about something or another. Work, a health condition, money... anything big enough to put him off of sex.
Maybe his libido isn't what it used to be.
At any rate, you should just talk to him. Tell him you're concerned, because no, this isn't the norm in a good and healthy relationship. Best of luck to you!
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (11 July 2009): He's a total stand up! if he loved you that much he would want you thats not right you should ask him why he looks at naked girls and why he wont have sex with you! Ask what you did wrong if he says something simple like 'i dont want to' he might be a pheodophile, check his computer an all his pics to see. he even might be cheating on you! Look through his contacts on his phone to see if he is!
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