| A ,
anonymous
writes: I have been going out with my boyfriend for almost 3.5years, we got engaged in Aug05 and since then things have not been so good.i always used to get this warm feeling inside me of complete contentment that my future happiness was secure with this man but now im not so sure.Many things i do seem to annoy him over the past few months,if i say something a bit stupid he goes on at me for it and slags me off.He has also bought a house we picked together which i will be joining the morgage for in a few months when i finish university but he doesnt make me feel like its OUR house.Any ideas i have over the house he rubbishes, i always have to watch my words so i put things to him in a certain way.Also his mum often makes the same suggestions and he thinks they are great,this is apparently because she puts them better.Writing some things down like this makes them seem so small and insignificant but i cant be sure what to do as iv never had a boyfriend before and im not sure if im expecting too much.He slags me off a lot,sometimes in a jokey manner and sometimes not, when i tell him im not happy with the way he speaks to me he says that i knowhow he jokes about by now and if im unhappy leave cos he wont change.He says this but then he also says he will never let me go and will fight for me.Im painting a bleak picture but we do love each other so much and we get on great other times.I dont want to loose him but i dont know if this will get any better, we are supposed to get married in 1.5years.Any advice would be appreciated.Thank you.
View related questions:
engaged, never had a boyfriend, puts me down, university Reply to this Question
Share |
Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
female
reader, Bev Conolly  +, writes (5 February 2005):
 Hi there,I agree with the other person who replied. Someone who puts you down and calls it a "joke" is abusive. No matter how well you and he get on in other ways, you will always have to deal with his verbal abuse, which is probably rooted in his own insecurity.If you learn not to respond to the "jokes" he makes at your expense, you'll probably find that they get more frequent and more barbed over time, until they really start to affect your self-esteem. Nobody who really is worth your love - or who really loves you - would run you down that way.You probably should give a lot more thought to marrying this guy. "Losing him" is probably the least of your problems. Personally, I wouldn't want to spend a single day with someone who recruits his mum to help him insult me... and you're planning on doing it for the rest of your life? Please tell me you're not!Cut this man loose and keep looking. You really deserve better.
A
reader, anonymous, writes (5 February 2005): Hm, I'm sorry to tell you this, but he sounds like a mean, controlling jerk. I'd take his suggestion and leave if I were you. He said he isn't going to change, so things won't get better, they're only going to get worse. I say end things before you put any money into his house. And it's clear that it's his(and his mother's) house. Run away!
...............................
|
