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He isnt the man I used to know...I need help with this!

Tagged as: Faded love, Troubled relationships<< Previous question   Next question >>
Question - (23 August 2009) 6 Answers - (Newest, 25 August 2009)
A female Australia age 30-35, *tacey26 writes:

Hey,

I've been with my bf for over a year now and we have lost our romance!! i asked him to take me out... but he would rather sit at home. i've been asking him for months to take me out to dinner but i always get a straight out NO and it annoys me. i dont know what to do? whenever i ask him somthing i get a no and he acts like a child. it annoys me so much but i love him with my life and i know he loves me. its just he isnt the same anymore. he isnt the man i used to know =[ i need help with this....

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A female reader, dcstar United States +, writes (25 August 2009):

I know it is very frustrating but you have to hang in there and give him space. Just stop with what you're doing. If you're acting more like a mother than a girlfriend or a partner to him, just stop. Men easily gets overwhelmed if you give them too much attention. In turn, you risk of wanting the same attention you give him, making you feel worn out and disappointed because you're not getting the attention you need. Take a step back and relax. If he truly loves you he'll come around. Give yourself some time to evaluate the relationship. Take care and hope everything goes well soon.

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A female reader, dcstar United States +, writes (25 August 2009):

I know it is very frustrating but you have to hang in there and give him space. Just stop with what you're doing. If you're acting more like a mother than a girlfriend or a partner to him, just stop. Men easily gets overwhelmed if you give them too much attention. In turn, you risk of wanting the same attention you give him, making you feel worn out and disappointed because you're not getting the attention you need. Take a step back and relax. If he truly loves you he'll come around. Give yourself some time to evaluate the relationship. Take care and hope everything goes well soon.

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A female reader, Stacey26 Australia +, writes (24 August 2009):

Stacey26 is verified as being by the original poster of the question

Thanks for the advice... Its just as soon as we moved in together he stopped everything, wanting to spend time together. when i ask him to go out he never wants to he just wants to stay home and watch tv or play his games and i always seem to be giving him gifts and saying romantic things and love letters that kind of stuff and of course i kinda expect a little somthing back maybe a return letter, a praise every once in a while just a little somthing to asure me he still loves me thats all i ask and when i ask why he isnt romantic we end up having a fight =[ i love him with my life and just want..... attention

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A female reader, QuirkLady United States +, writes (23 August 2009):

QuirkLady agony auntI think that you need to sit down with him and tell him how you feel. Let him know that you would like to go to dinners sometimes, that you want to do fun activities together that make you feel special. If you can't get through to him, or he shuts you down, you should consider if this relationship is worth the pain and aggravation.

Good luck.

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A female reader, dcstar United States +, writes (23 August 2009):

Hi,

It does sound like you are trying to do everything you can to bring back what you used to have before. I know it's extremely frustrating when your partner suddenly stops doing the stuff you guys normally do. It would be unfair to tell you NO and not have a reason to back it up. Maybe try again when he's in a better mood and try to make it sound like you are the ONE taking him out to dinner not the other way around. Perhaps it would be great to try something new, and do something he does like. Good luck and be patient.

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A reader, anonymous, writes (23 August 2009):

Why doesnt he want to take you out?

If he loved you he would probably take you out for dinner...

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