A
female
age
41-50,
anonymous
writes:Married for 17 years with two boys ages 14 and 12. I love my husband with all my heart and soul. The problem has to do with his job. He works long hours and when he gets home he doesn't have time for me because he is so tired. I don't know what it is to make passionate love because we just have intercourse to satisfy each others sexual needs. I have been going through this for a few years and I have brought it to his attention and he always replies that he knows but doesn't do anything about it. I tell him that his job is his wife and that it is going to end our relationship, but I don't really mean that because I don't want to lose him. He lives for his job and only his job. His schedule is 7 to 5 but he gets home the latest at 9:30. I work from 8 to 5 and then attend college three nights a week but I always make time for him when he's around. I'm a very passionate person and he doesn't reciprocate. Reply to this Question
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
male
reader, SamuraiRick +, writes (14 November 2007):
 I am going to give you some solid advice from the perspective of an experienced man of some experience in and out of marriage. I find lot of hope in your situation really, because 1) you say you love him and 2)you say you have intercourse with him. With those two facts in play heres what you do. You want to make real passionate love right? Play the part. Be the sex bomb he desires, and at the same time dont give in to the sex act so quickly. Get your self some nice night wear, go to your nearest VIctoria's Secret ASAP and tell them you want to look sexy for your man. You dont have to over do it but give it a try. All men want their wives to do this for them, and theyre probably too afraid to say so. Trust me on this. Wear high heals in bed, totally taunt and tease him. Treat him like a King, and he will treat you back in return like a queen.
First of all you have to respect the fact that he works hard for you all those hours. But he comes home to YOU. Even if your time is limited take it for what it is and prize the time you do have together. If its at all possible try to go on dates with him. remind him that your the same girl he fell in love with wants to be with you.
The worse thing you can do is argue with him, and get into fights. That leads to bad feelings and alienation. He doesnt sound like a bad guy at all. I think you can fix things. but do it with love, and not resentment....because love is what you want from him right? You have to give love to get love.
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