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He is not the same as when we first met, what should I do?

Tagged as: Long distance, Troubled relationships<< Previous question   Next question >>
Question - (26 April 2011) 4 Answers - (Newest, 26 April 2011)
A female United States age 41-50, *cocoa33 writes:

How can i put this we met on a chat line and after two months of talking over the phone i went and seen him, i told him how i felt about him and everything because we just gotten that close to each but point of it all i sent the weekend together We slept together which we did have sex. We live in 2 different states and it like that i not around him he don't have much to say to me over the phone and he told me he can't say we are in a relationship and he want me to move to his state in a year but he not acting like when we first met and i don't know what to do?

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A female reader, mcocoa33 United States +, writes (26 April 2011):

mcocoa33 is verified as being by the original poster of the question

Ok he coming to my state real soon so he's can see what going on around me an my children and i going back this summer to meet his mom and i hope that's a good ideal he seems like he trying to make it work

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A female reader, aunt honesty Ireland +, writes (26 April 2011):

aunt honesty agony auntOk so it is clear that he has trust issues. But he needs to try and work on these because he cant know what you are doing every minute of the day even if you are both living together. He still needs to be able to trust you and it is clear that at the moment the trust is not there. I am sure you never made a mistake sleeping with him at the end of the day you have feelings for him.

I guess it is your decision on what you want to do but it sounds like this man might become controlling if he doesnt get his trust issues sorted.

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A female reader, mcocoa33 United States +, writes (26 April 2011):

mcocoa33 is verified as being by the original poster of the question

well i have to wait a year i have children also and so does he and he was married and divorce he has trust issues because she cheated and he told me just like this if live in the same state if he knows what i doing an where abouts i have feelings towards him and he opening up to me more i just hope i didn't make a mistake by sleeping with him but my feelings are involved

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A female reader, aunt honesty Ireland +, writes (26 April 2011):

aunt honesty agony auntOk well he has made it clear that what you both share at the moment is not a relationship. I guess you would need to spend more quality time together to get to know each other but I guess it is hard when the both of you live so far apart. Why does he want to wait a year until you move over there? Cant it be done sooner.

However you need to really think about this. This is a big decision for you to make for someone that it sounds to me you dont know really well at all. Are you really prepared to pack up and move away to another state just to see how things go with this man and leave everything behind. This is a really big step and you really need to think about it clearly. Do you know this man well enough yet?

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