A
male
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:Im worried my partner may be cheating.His told me tht he wants some space from everyone around him this weekend and that he has no plans. I tried making plans with him and well i just get, 'i need time to myself' tho just the other day he was telling me he misses me.Anyway, i have seen his emails and he has booked a table for 2 at a nice restraunt down where he lives.I have asked him what his doing this weekend and he says nothing, he wants to be left alone, take it easy.His not telling me his got plans for sunday and has said his going for a nice walk by himself somewhere. he doesnt like going for walks by himself!!Im upset, shakey and feel a bit sick and im not sure what to do. he dont know that i know any of this and he is waiting for me to txt him as normal..HELP? Reply to this Question
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female
reader, Miamine +, writes (19 August 2010):
 Sorry babes, please be brave, I know you is hurting.. but.. the signs don't look good.. he's hiding, he's got plans that he's not telling you
You got to get him to talk honestly.. he's not cheating, it's more than that, your relationship is finished and he's too scared to tell you that he's met somebody else..
So sorry, please. please, please, challenge him to tell the truth, tell him as you told us here. Your not a fool, keep your pride, challenge him, wish him well, tell him to go off and enjoy himself... then break down and cry, eat ice-cream, watch bad movies, and comfort your heart that is breaking inside...
The relationship is over.. don't drag it out, finish it now and go off and heal yourself...
So very, very sorry... you will meet someone better in time.. )
A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (19 August 2010): Doesnt sound like he is cheating to me. Sounds like you are the only one. Guys like that require some space at times so they can figure out how to make thier lady (you) life better.
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A
male
reader, dirtball  +, writes (19 August 2010):
 Oooooo, tough one. Well, as I see it you have a few choices.
1. You can choose to believe him and give him the space he's requesting. Sometimes we just need to be alone. I know I do. It doesn't matter how much I love someone, sometimes I just need to get away from them. Everyone needs to have their space and boundries respected.
2. You can tell him you know about his dinner reservations and you want to know what's up. This will do a couple of things. It will put him on the spot, and it will reveal you've broken some trust by snooping through his email. It is likely to blow up in your face and not prove anything.
3. You know where his reservation is, you can show up and surprise him, or at least see who he's with. For all you know he could have planned a surprise for his mother or something. Then again, he could be going on a date with another girl.
Given the sketchy behavior, I'd probably go with option 3 myself. Maybe bring a friend along to go check things out discretely first and then confront if necessary. If you do catch him, you'll again have a couple of options.
a. With a friend along you can play surprised. "Oh, nice to see you. I figured I'd go out with Suzy tonight, what a pleasure seeing you here. (to the person with him) Hi, I'm Anon, Billy's girlfriend, nice to meet you."
b. Don't play it cool. Ask him what he thinks he's doing and if whoever knows about you. Maybe even make a scene. It doesn't matter. It will be dinner entertainment for the other guests and make him feel like a fool. Then again, you may feel like a fool too.
Personally, I'd ideally go option 3/a. If he's cheating, then he'll feel like an ass. Depending on if she knows about you or not, she may view him as a complete ass as well. By staying calm and friendly, you are taking the high road and not looking like Jerry Springer trash. Also, if you have a friend along, you have an out as far as why you're there.
It's rare you get the opportunity to ambush a cheating partner in the act. I wouldn't waste it, but keep in mind that it may be something entirely innocent, and you should be prepared to eat crow if that's the case.
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A
female
reader, FluffyPie +, writes (19 August 2010):
 Maybe he wants to give you a nice surprise.
OK, wait until this weekend, and if nothing happens, that is if he doesn't show any signs, talk to him about it. In that case, he might wanna break up with you. So if he doesn't invite you anywhere in the weekend, he's a jerk. Until Sunday, just carry on with your daily normal activities, you have a life with or without him, stop with this anguish, it's not good. Maybe it's not worth it.
But I still think he's just about to prepare a romantic dinner for you two :)
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (19 August 2010): This is verified as being by the original poster of the question:(
What am i to do?
I love him!
:/
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