A
female
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes:My boyfriend and I have been dating for just over 2 months. He got divorced about 3 months before that. We moved kind of fast and we knew that, but things seemed to be going great. Then his ex-wife started calling him and telling him how much she misses him and wants him back. He got really confused and told me he wants to take a break from me and her to try to sort out his feelings. He says his feelings for me were real, but then says it was a mistake and he didn't mean to string me along. What does that mean? Did I lose him for good? He had almost nothing in common with his ex and we had a lot in common, but he just keeps thinking about the good times with her. Any opinions on whether I've lost him for good or if I should keep fighting for this?
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a break, divorce, ex-wife, his ex Reply to this Question
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female
reader, MoonLux +, writes (5 November 2010):
 Give him the time hon. He needs to figure out what he misses, and this includes figuring out if he'll miss being with you. He needs that little lightbulb to go off in his head. At least you'll know for sure what's the deal between you two when that time comes. But please keep in mind - you guys have only been going out a couple of months. These are the best months usually when it comes to dating. My point is, you need the time to think about things too. Do you really want this confused guy, who is confusing you, in this confusing relationship?
A
reader, anonymous, writes (3 November 2010): Oh boy, you are the rebound girl.... this guy has NOT given himself enough time after his divorce and jumped right into another relationship to fill the void of being alone .... always a bad idea, but people do it anyway. Let this guy go before you get in too deep with him. He has a lot of baggage to deal with and you need someone who is ready to move on and he clearly is not.
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A
female
reader, Ms Lovalot  +, writes (3 November 2010):
Hello my lovely,
Yes it does sound as though you moved rather fast in this relationship.I believe the feelings your lover has for you are genuine and that he has been very happy with you and would not have contacted his ex, however unfortunately she has contacted him and this has thrown him into a state of confusion and emotional instability. The first thing is STOP comparing and measuring yourself and your relationship with your lover against the ex wife and the relationship they had, this does not come into it AT ALL and indulging in this will tear you apart. You have only been with him for a short time and he needs time to heal from his divorce and move on completely; he is kidding himself and you if he thinks he can be in another relationship so soon. You have to accept that he may well go back to her (and compare her to you and pine for you and break up with her again)-don't be his plaster when he gets cut.Go out there and live your life-be strong-if it is meant to be he will get in touch later down the line when his wounds have healed. In a marraige two become one and the union is meant to be for life, the breakdown of that-the tearing apart of that union is messy and bloody Stick around if you want to get covered in blood and guts but I don't think you do lovey. You hold your head up get out there and concentrate on being everything you want to be. You sound like a strong woman who has her head screwed on, don't see this as a failure but as a learning curve. Buy him a packet of plasters and walk away.
Big hugs my lovely, Ms Lovalot.
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A
female
reader, aunt honesty  +, writes (3 November 2010):
 Well to start off with i think that you should just give him the space that he has asked for, i believe that he was getting on well with you and starting to develop feelings for you, but he wasnt long divorced at the time therefore everything with his ex wife is still fresh to him and its life as he knows it, he just probably needs time on his own to make up his mind and see were his future lies, let him contact you when he is ready.
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