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He has a family but acts like he is still single!

Tagged as: Dating, Troubled relationships<< Previous question   Next question >>
Question - (26 September 2015) 3 Answers - (Newest, 27 September 2015)
A female United Kingdom age 36-40, anonymous writes:

Hi hope someone can help me I have been with my boyfriend for 3 years we have a 1 year old daughter together we have a pretty good rrelationship but the problem is I still feel like he thinks he is single he is always out with his mates we never get any time together don't get me wrong I understand he needs to see his mates as do I but he makes no effort to spend anytime with me or his daughter like for instance today he got up at 8am met his mate at 9 went to do whatever he was doing came home had dinner his mate came round they went on the Xbox his mate went home we had tea and he's now gone round his mates I feel like he's playing me for a fool I'm so stressed he's do untidy and never does anything to help me around the house or with our daughter any suggestions what I should do would be gratefully accepted sorry for the rant thank you

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A female reader, anonymous, writes (27 September 2015):

Thank you I also meant to mention that he always wants attention from other women he uses his dog to get this attention and I can't stand it I feel so down I will give the letter thing a try

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A female reader, anonymous, writes (27 September 2015):

He sounds like the sort of guy who sees a girlfriend as another mum. You cook the meals, clean the house and do all the chores. He just rocks up and does what he wants. Well that's not life.

Sit him down and tell him he is treating you like some house keeper. I would say quote bluntly that the next day you are going out and he needs to care for his child, prepare the meals for the day and get the house in order. See how he copes for a day. Tell him you're not happy and that you shouldn't have to tell him he needs to spend time with his child. He should want to be there with his child and do things as a family. Everyone needs their friends, but being in and out with different people is not a nice, settled environment for your little one.

Do you see a future with this guy? He just sounds like a lazy, immature man. Does he work or just play x box with various friends all day? You shouldn't have to put up with it.

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A female reader, Aunty BimBim Australia +, writes (27 September 2015):

Aunty BimBim agony auntYou are a single mum. Time to accept your partner is not mature enough step up and be part of a team, so, do what any other team would do when one member is not holding up their end, firstly he needs the talk.

Rewrite your question but as a letter to him ... sit him down somewhere neutral, like the kitchen table, tell him you have something you want to read to him, make sure he is listening, and read it out, let him respond, let him know how unhappy you are ........ give him a few days to mull things over, don't give him any ultimatums, but if you don't see a change in his attitude or behaviour within a week then seriously consider moving out or telling him to.

The way things are he is not adding anything joyful or positive to your, or you daughters, lives.

Good luck!

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