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He feels like I'm playing him but I'm really not. What can I do??

Tagged as: Troubled relationships, Trust issues<< Previous question   Next question >>
Question - (11 January 2008) 4 Answers - (Newest, 15 January 2008)
A female Canada age 30-35, anonymous writes:

Well i'm kind of in an awkward situation, my boyfriend is in jail and has been for a few months now but ever since new years hes been assuming things and accusing me of playing him and making him look like a fool, but in reality i work, go to school, and don't even have time for my own leisure activities.

I really love him and just want him to know that i would never do anything of the sort to him, but how do i let him know that?

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A female reader, sheilae United States +, writes (15 January 2008):

well i agree with anonymous, you did not say what he was in jail for, but I wanted to give you the benefit of the doubt. It's very sadden why people end up in this situation, if it is something minor then I understand your supporting him but if this is something major or he repeatly breaks the law, then yes, please rethink this relationship. Sadly in America, women who are incarcerated is due to their relationship involvement with men who are career criminals, dealing drugs, prostitution to support boyfriend's drug habits, etc. But the sad truth is that the same men who enable these women, do not go to the prison and visit them where as the men get more support from their spouse/girlfriends etc. If the roles were reversed would he be visiting you and would you be dictating to him about his loyalty. Think about this real hard and good luck - sheilae

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A female reader, sheilae United States +, writes (15 January 2008):

well i agree with anonymous, you did not say what he was in jail for, but I wanted to give you the benefit of the doubt. It's very sadden why people end up in this situation, if it is something minor then I understand your supporting him but if this is something major or he repeatly breaks the law, then yes, please rethink this relationship. Sadly in America, women who are incarcerated is due to their relationship involvement with men who are career criminals, dealing drugs, prostitution to support boyfriend's drug habits, etc. But the sad truth is that the same men who enable these women, do not go to the prison and visit them where as the men get more support from their spouse/girlfriends etc. If the roles were reversed would he be visiting you and would you be dictating to him about his loyalty. Think about this real hard and good luck - sheilae

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A reader, anonymous, writes (13 January 2008):

I think the bigger question is, why he's in jail? Generally people don't go to jail unless they've broken the law; stealing, killing, drunk driving. I think this might be an excellent time for you to take stock of your life. You're young. You have your whole life ahead of you. There are so many great guys out there who would show you the world if you gave them the chance. Do you really want to tie yourself to a loser? This might be the perfect chance to end things with him and start fresh. Think long term. You deserve to be with someone better.

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A reader, anonymous, writes (13 January 2008):

I,m sorry your bf is in jail, but unforunately he has no control over his life and assumes the worse of yours. You say you really love him, well if he loves you just as much, then he is just going to have to trust you until his current situation has improved. Please don't let his mistakes make you feel quilty. If he continues to act jealous or spiteful then you may have to rethink your relationship.

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