A
female
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes:Hi everyone.So in a nutshell, I've been in love with my childhood sweetheart and now best friend for 14 years. Over these 14 years we have been drawn to each other like magnets after many failed relationships with others. I have always been very open about how I feel about him and he knows I would be with him in a heartbeat if he asked me. He however says he does not know what he wants and that he doesn't like relationships. He does not sleep around, however he likes to travel a lot. I have struggled with this for many years (I suspect my feelings for him are why no other relationship has seemed to work) and I somehow came to accept it. However recently we slept together for the first time (and have continued to do so since) and it has brought us closer then ever before. . I have made it clear that unless he commits to a relationship I am free to date whom I please. He hates this and has kicked off about this before. Bottom line, he doesn't want to commit to a relationship, yet no one else is allowed to have me. Now we have slept together is there a chance he may change his mind? Or am I just an idiot who should let go?Please advise!
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female
reader, So_Very_Confused  +, writes (14 January 2013):
 To quote you back to yourself... your just an idiot that should let go.
Here's the take on this... at your age if he WANTED to be serious with you, you would probably be married to him already.
He's taking what you give him and will use it as long as you can.
He's not jealous of you because he wants you the way you want to be wanted. He just wants easy sex... you offer it.
YOU sleep with him in hopes he will love you like you love him.
You call him your best friend but he's not honey.
You are hanging on to a dream.
I'm sorry if this hurts but BTDT... and it SUCKS and you will cry hours and hours and it will HURT more and more for the short run but in the long run you can get on with your life once he's out of it and holding you back on thin strings of hope.
He feeds you just enough to keep you hooked. And it's not his fault... it's yours. YOU are hopeful forever more that he will love you... you gave him your body in hopes that he would see the light... he wont'.
you are going to be very hurt when he finds his true love and dumps you in the dirt.
A
female
reader, Atsweet1 +, writes (14 January 2013):
 Sounds like easy sex without the commitment and other things that go with that. I would move on find a person that is ready. Why be on hold for a unappreciative person thats not ready. I hope the people Im not ready for dont wait on me cause I got ISSUES so it will be a long wait most and likely. Unless a miracle happens.
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A
female
reader, Jessica86 +, writes (14 January 2013):
Oh No! Just forget him really. I had the same situation. I am sorry, you will wait for him to commit to you and one day he will show up with his new "girlfriend" and he is completely committed to her. I know this is such an heartache but try to get away from. Actually, get away from him. Don't see him or talk to him. I am not saying ignore him but don't make an effort to see him. My ex boyfriend was like that. He broke up with me then he followed me around. When I asked him why he is doing this he said he loved me but could never be with me. He has been stringing me along for so long now and brought my confidence to zero! I felt like I was not good enough. And then one day he stopped coming to see me or talking to me. I learned that he started seeing this girl. Dropped me like a hot potato. Be firm and say if he wants you he has to commit because you deserve that. Everybody deserves that.
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A
female
reader, oldbag +, writes (14 January 2013):
 Hi
He has no right to kick off if you date others,he doesn't want to date,he wants no strings sex, so he has chosen his place and can't expect you to be exclusive.
I would cut him out of your life so you can move on for good and have a better chance of meeting a man and making a lasting relationship.
He is never going to commit is he,he just wants you available to him.
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A
male
reader, FightingBee123 +, writes (14 January 2013):
 That's a hard one.... You want something more but he likes how his life is so why change it. I think one of the worst things would to be in a relationship where both parties aren't happy. If he is getting what he wants then why can't you. You could show him that a serious relationship with you is better than just having a undefined monogamous one.
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