A
female
age
41-50,
anonymous
writes:I have been dating my boyfriend for a year and a half. I starting living with him this past October which really has been great. My problem is that he never wants to have sex with me. He never compliments me any more or seems interested in my conversations. He used to be so into me in the beginning. I have asked him if I should move out and we could start fresh, but he continues to tell me to stay. I am so tired of having the same conversation over and over and having to ask for sex. I have never had this problem before. I love the guy, and continue to stay because of my feelings, but I am starting to think there is someone better out there. What should I do? Reply to this Question
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reader, anonymous, writes (21 January 2009): There is a new book on the market that is based on research of why men stop having sex with their partners. The results show that less than 20% are cheating or having sex with someone else....but there are some reasons why.
I haven't read the book yet, but it sounds very helpful, here is a link to an excerpt and a place to order it online.
I know this must be very frustrating and hurtful to your pride to have him stop wanting you that way....open communication is important, and perhaps couples counseling as there are probably deeper relationship issues at play, or they may develop when sex becomes a battleground in a relationship...
Also, moving in and living together may be too much too fast for your boyfriend, a lot of times sex is the first thing to go when this happens, he is withdrawing from you perhaps fearing intimacy or not wanting to commit to you...Living together before marriage without and engagement and a wedding date is never a great idea for the lack of commitment that is there....it takes work and two willing partners.
http://www.amazon.com/Hes-Just-Not-Up-Anymore/dp/0061192031
A
male
reader, Mr. morality +, writes (20 January 2009):
I have seen this happen so many times, usually it's my co-workers having this issue with their wives. in most cases infidelity is the source of the problem. You may have been replaced sexually by either somebody he works with or a close tie to you. it started to peter out then it stopped all together, right? you can either wait for it to play out and he will need your services again, until he finds another, or you can try becoming his desire by changing you. How you appear. No sweats while at home. put some pizzas in your relationship. don't play head games because they only build barriers. Be who he seeks, not the reason he's seeking something more exciting. try to remember the magic you use to have, how you use to treat each other. We men are simple partners. Just remain looking like and feeling like the woman we married. Sure, you probably know you will have to trim down a bit to look near the way you use to. It's work, no doubt. How easy will it be to start over again though? You will resort to trimming down to turn a guys head, then what? what have you built with your man? what really is the challenge here? you decide what will make you the happiest, then go for it! good luck! God be with you....
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A
female
reader, tarasimone  +, writes (20 January 2009):
My boyfriend stopped wanting sex as well and he got angry when ever i wanted it, which made me feel bad about myself, he kept saying sex is not the only thing in a relationship. I guess its not, however it is a big part of it! Anyway it went on for a while then I moved away and it got so much better because we didn't see each other as often and it made him want me a lot more! I think when your with someone all the time it gets very repetitive, I suggest moving out for a while and he will realise what he is missing!
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