A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:i have been talking to this guy for about 3-4 mon.. i thought that he wanted to be in a relationship with me... he brought up the whole i really want a girlfriend and i really like you etc.. so i said ok we can give it a try... when we first started dating we did a lot of things together we spend a lot of time together.. then when we had sex for the first time ( well me since i was a virgin)... he took my virginity and everything seemed ok ... as far as a relationship i started noticing there wasnt one.. we were just friends who had sex ... he stop doing things with me.. we would just have sex all the time.. about two weeks ago he tells me that he felt guilty for taking my virginity and not being comitted to the relationship he didn't want to be my boyfriend .. he just wanted to be my friend...he still wanted to have sex with me... it hurt me beacuse i felt like he used me just for sex .. takin my virginity is something tht i cant get back... but even though im hurt i still want to be with him... i dont know what i should do can anyone please help me Reply to this Question
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male
reader, RAINORFIRE +, writes (23 August 2010):
 He didnt take your virginity you gave it to him.. you cant blame him for this... people change their feelings and circumstances change you made a decision live with it and move on. hopefully you enjoyed your experience thats all you can ask for.
This guy doesnt want to be with you so let him go. my best advice dont let this determine how you treat every guy you meet from now on
A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (23 August 2010): If he really cared for you the virginity would not have been the issue. The issue would be loyalty to him, and of course loyalty to you on his part. All guys want sex, no matter what age, along with females (well legal, on both the guy and girls part). So, sometimes it is just sex, if you know up front though, then it should not be a big deal. Not to me anyways.
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A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (23 August 2010): You shouldn't stop living your life just because of one mistake. It's natural to have feelings for this guy, since you had given him access to your heart, emotions, and something as important as your virginity. But don't waste your time on someone who doesn't want to treat you with respect and want to be with you. Meeting new people and hanging out with friends and family will easily allow you to get over this 'mistake'.
You should use this experience to let yourself grow and meet new people, just keep being yourself, sooner or later your going to meet the right guy who's going to treat you with more respect and wants to be in a relationship with you.
Good Luck,
All the best!
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A
female
reader, MzDiva2u +, writes (23 August 2010):
 girl, its alot of people who wish they could have had their "first time" happen alot different. theres nothing you can do..move on, if he treats you like crap, move on! there are many men who will respect u. but instead of fallin for the 1st guy come claims he wanted you, you gotta go until a guy DATES you for longer than 3months, not that you KNOW him for 3 months..hope it helps
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A
male
reader, dirtball +, writes (23 August 2010):
 Sadly there's not much you can do honey. He told you he's not interested in a relationship. That's how it is. What he did was low, and a dick move in my book.
I hope that you don't end up hating all men because of this asshole. We're not all like that. Some of us would have cherished the gift of your virginity.
My advice would be to move on. This guy is only interested in you as long as you're having sex. I wouldn't be surprised if he wasn't having relations with other women as well. It's a shame that it ended up this way, but the past is the past, and there is no changing it. You CAN learn from it and make better decisions in the future. Good luck!
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (23 August 2010): This guy is horrible for using you in this way, epecially taking your virginity and then saying he just wants to be friends. Seems to me he knew this all along and just said what you wanted to hear to get you into bed, not a nice thing to hear i know but some guys are like that i'm afraid. As this was your first time you will feel connected with him in some way but don't mistake this for love. If you don't want to get hurt further then i suggest you tell him that if he just wants to be friends and not have a relationship then you are not going to have sex with him again as you are worth more than being just a sex toy till he finds someone he does want to be with.
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