A
female
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes:My boyfriend broke up with me one-two months ago for many reasons. He was very very much in love with me for a very long time before we started dating (about 8 years), treated me like gold (until the break up) and just basically smothered me with attention. But he had a lot of emotional baggage from previous relationships, from his parents and was going through a lot of stress at work so he broke up with me - he broke up with me because he couldn't trust me, because I was of a different nationality, because I lived too far away from me, basically add any reason you want. He did it by avoiding me as I spent half a month trying to figure out if he's really busy or just "busy" and never actually said anything to me in person, refuse to break up with me in person, and refuse to see me after (the last time I saw him was two weeks before the break up when we had so much fun - and that was the LAST time). It was really hard for me to get over it but I did, I even started seeing someone else, but the entire time, I felt so bad for him. Here he was, working like crazy with no one to talk to, no one who understands him with all of his emotional problems. I figured maybe he'd solve them one day and then we'd talk like normal people. That helped me move on and not be angry and bitter. Now I realize that he's not emotionally upset or disturbed about anything. He's just screwing around with 19 year old girls of the same nationality as him. Now I am SO angry and hurt, especially since he spent 8 years chasing me and a we spent a year building an amazing relationship that didn't have any problems at all, until one day he said, I'm stressed, confused, the past 9 years basically didnt mean anything to me. Now I'm afraid I'm going to take it out on the NICE guy that I'm seeing and I think about him and I know he's nice and all I can think of is.. what a jackass. Anytime he does anything that upsets me a little bit, I just think.. oh, jackass. How do I not become bitter and angry and upset?
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male
reader, anonymous, writes (23 July 2008): Shouldnt be about singing the national anthum togther. You should ask him why is he screwing around with 19 y/o instead of you and try to replace anger with resolve.
Right now he seems like that complex enigma you dont understand.
Maybe if you talk to him about it and try to understand him ,calmly with no judgement, try to see his side of it with honesty..
Maybe then you will finally truely realize what a lowlife he really is and you would be able to move on.
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