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female
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anonymous
writes: I have got involved with a very close friend of mine. I have known him for over 7 years and we have always been close and confided in each other. Until 9 months ago he was with his long term partner of 5 years and until 5 months ago I was with my long term partner of 9 years.However he is already in a relationship with a lady who is still living with her partner of 27 years. This relationship was going on while he was still with his partner but wasnt the cause of their break up.His long distance relationship lady has got wind of our closeness and is now saying she wants to move down. Last Saturday he told her and me that he wanted to be with me and then on Sunday changed his mind and wanted to be with her. I was devastated.I am so confused. I want to be there for him because I feel we will be together eventually, but he seems to want her more than me. I can't see it working and I don't want to see him get hurt. I have promised him I will always be his friend. What should I do?
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (9 December 2005): You are probably right when you say it will not work. I think his long distance partner is only saying she wants to move down to get a reaction.However a word of warning. If he can change his mind so quickly and easily what is to say he won't do it in the future if you got together.Keep this one at arms length. By all means be his friend but I would be careful about what he says. He will probably say alot of things that he knows what he wants you to hear, but doesn't really mean. If he does get hurt you can be there to help him through, but after all the hurt he has caused you are you sure you want to be there to help him?Think of yourself first and don't be drawn into anything you are not 100% sure about.
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