A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:We have been together for almost 4 years, but lately things have gone downhill. Among other things, he has been going out with his friends (which includes trashy girls) a lot. He would lie about who he is with and where he is going. During one of those "boys only" night out, I found a picture of a slutty girl kissing him (on the cheek). Though I am brought up to be very conservative and view these actions as completely inappropriate behavior, I forgave him because he is from a different background and his culture accepts these kind things to be just friendly gesture. But, if I am willing to accept this, why can't he accept the fact that it hurts me when he stays out all night being "friendly" with girls? I also found another picture of him with in ex on his lap, this happened just a few days ago and it kills me to see that he has no respect for my feelings or our relationship at all. I have never caught him cheating, but he lies almost every time he goes out and he always ignore my calls/messages. When I confront him, he always says that I am supposed to trust him and that he had only lied because he knows I would get upset if I knew the truth of his where abouts. He always claim that he has done nothing wrong, and there is no harm in going out clubbing with friends (who are all single by the way). If there is nothing wrong with what you are doing, why lie? And If he doesn't believe he's done anything wrong by lying, will he ever stop? I love him and I am not ready to just give up just yet but I feel hopeless. How can I trust a man who can't seem to be honest with me? How can I care so much about a man that tells me he doesn't care how much his actions hurt me and that I "need to get over it"? I think he is a nice and respectable person, but I am not sure if he cares about me or respect me enough to not cheat on me.Please answer with more than just "leave him"
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female
reader, daisy92  +, writes (11 August 2010):
this is awful. he has no right what so ever to treat you like this. you need to tell him how you feel, explain how much it is hurting you. i completely understand that you don't want to give up, but if he is not willing to understand and respect your feelings then it must not be making you happy and you dont deserve this treatment at all.maybe letting him go, will be the best for both of you. people change, and it sounds to me like he is not the man you had 4 years ago. good luck for you's both.
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