A
female
age
30-35,
*orroliz
writes:I am in a relationship with a man who makes me very happy, who I love talking to, spending time with, and making love with. However, we have never spoken about the state of our relationship or defined it. So much time has passed that I feel the subject to be taboo, or I feel slightly ridiculous asking this after several months of being together. Recently, I asked him what he thought of me as and he said that he thought of me as his "lover". It bothered me that he called me his "lover" and not his girlfriend. Is there such a separation between the two words for other people? I don't believe him to be unfaithful to me and I don't believe he has any desire to be, either. Do you think he calls me his lover because he's afraid to commit? What do you think this means? Reply to this Question
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
male
reader, yum yum +, writes (9 January 2009):
 It is hard to know exactly what he meant. I could only speculate and guess. You should try and talk to him openly about the way you feel. Ask him quistions like 'can we consider ourselves a couple?'. 'Are you happy the way things are going between us?' etc. Tell him that you want to be a proper couple. Take care!
A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (9 January 2009): Express yourself to him that you want to know if "lover" means "gf" or if it doesn't. There's no harm in asking and obviously the knowledge of what it means is important to you. This conversation will also be great to have as it will lead to an explicit definition of what it is you two have. You will know if you are just two friends who are fooling around until you move on or if you truly are a couple.
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