A
female
age
18-21,
emma88
writes:My now ex-boyfriend broke up with me 2 months ago after 3 intense years together. It came as a bit of a shock because we had been having a few problems but agreed to work through them but before we had a chance to he broke off with me. We both went to different universities last September but still saw each other most weekends and at holidays. It worked brilliantly for 5 months then things began to disintegrate. The break-up wasn’t a clean break-up I text him a few times and he continued to reply telling me he still loved me, would always love me, still cared for me, missed me, so we continued to text (however, it was mainly one-sided with me texting him but he continued to reply and in a way gave me a sense of false hope so I continued to text him every few days) However, after 3 weeks he text me and told me that he had been kissing a girl who lives in the room next door to him at university! I got a bit angry and sent him a message asking him why he wouldn’t respect my feelings and our relationship so 2 minutes later he asked her out all because I annoyed him! Is this a rebound relationship ... a new girlfriend 3 weeks after coming out of an intense 3 year relationship? Is he really over me and has stopped loving me?Ever since it happened I have this overwhelming sense that my life is rubbish whilst his is brilliant. I still get bad days where I just want to curl up and cry and i’m still at a point where I want him back and am still convinced he is going to change his mind and want me back. I still think him about him most of the time and find it hard to come to terms with the fact that he doesn’t think about me anymore. I still miss him terribly and find it hard to think that he is doing the things I miss with his new girlfriend and I will never get to do them again. I’m afraid he will forget me because of her. He had a job interview the other day that I knew about from before we broke up so I sent him a text wishing him luck but he replied with a message swearing at me, telling me that he is trying to move on with life and that talking to me was living in the past so he didn’t want to have any contact with me anymore. Does this reinforce that his relationship is a rebound relationship where he is seeking comfort in someone else to try and come to terms with the pain he is feeling following our break-up? It just seems like he is running away from me and doesn’t want anything to do with me because I remind him of what he doesn’t have anymore which doesn’t make sense because he was the one who broke up with me.I find it difficult to cope with the fact that he won’t have any contact with me after 3 good years together, it makes me feel so meaningless and our relationship so worthless, it meant the world to me but it feels like it meant nothing to him. I feel that if we could be civil to each other then I might be able to move on because at the moment I can’t stop dwelling on the way in which he won’t speak to me, it makes me feel like I did something wrong...is this silly or should I totally cut him out? Everyone says it gets easier with time but at the moment it really doesn’t seem to be getting easier. Any advice?
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broke up, kissing, move on, text, university Reply to this Question |
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female
reader, Kayluh Martini  +, writes (2 July 2008):
 Well... All I have to say is by him telling you that he was kissing on the girl next door... He WAS trying to piss you off and hurt you... I agree that if you were still friends you would get over it alot faster... Its not easy.. You just have to try to meet someone else..Think of how he has hurt you.. Doesnt mean you have to stop loven him.. He has move on... and EVERYTHING happends for a reason... even if you dont like whats happening.. Just meet some new guy.. the guy that broke your heart isnt the guy for you... So you gotta relize that... Im sure he wont ever come back to you hun... but its not a bad thing... Im sure youll find a much better guy than him sweety... Just try to forget all the good times and just remember the bad... That might get you over him much faster... It only get easier if you make it that way... Take care.. anymore questions just send me an email.. I hope this advice helped..-Kayluh Martini-
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