A
female
age
41-50,
anonymous
writes:Hi so i have a question dealing with my bf. We've been together 5 years. He's very opinionated and is a no "BS" kind of guy. he's got a good heart but sometimes when he's having a conversation with somebody and they disagree or make a different point, he always has to be right, even when its stupid things..for instance...my sister, bf and i were talking about outback steakhouse the other day. While my bf and i love it my sister said she doesnt like it at all..When my bf asks "why?" my sister just said she doesnt like fast food and its gross...my bf reacted and said that wasnt a good enough reason b/c they changed their menu and went on about saying the great things about the restaurant. My sister didn't really care about his point and still said she didn't like it and then blew out of the room saying she can't deal with this BS anymore. now i know this may sound like such a juvenile thing to argue about, and of course it has no impact on anyone's lives but this is the kind of arguements that i hear a lot. Even something as small as Outback riled my bf up and he had to make a point to my sister of why she was wrong. I told him to just let it go and that it was stupid to even fight about it but he didnt think he started an arguement or he was wrong in bringing up his point. (there was no screaming or anything mind you)I don't know i've been told by my family that he seems to like to argue with people and on some level i think its true but i also know that he doesnt mean to start verbal aruements just bc of no reason...i dont know what to suggest to him to do..ive told him many times to just let things roll off your back and its not worth your time to start things up...ppl can disagree and things go on..my sister hates him now and my brother and i dont want this to continue.. Reply to this Question
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male
reader, CaringGuy  +, writes (12 October 2010):
I think this is a sign that you're 'no BS' guy is actually quite the opposite. He sounds far too full of himself.
See, my girlfriend's ex was a bit like this, 'always had to be right'. She said it wasn't an issue and had no impact on anyone's lives. That was, until they got married. Then it became a serious problem.
Now, all you two are having problems with is him arguing over trivial things. But what do you think he will be like when you're buying a house and want to furnish it? What about arguments about children? What about all those larger arguments that are waiting for you in a committed relationship, where you will be the one having to listen to his BS - and it is BS.
You've been together 5 years, and you're tiring of it. What will it be like in 10 years?
Your family are now warning you that this guy is no good. Your sister has turned against him (rightfully so), and your brother is now tiring of it. I assume that other members of your family also see it. And I see it. So there are a lot of people, including you, that are telling you this guy is no good.
This is a sign of a man who will slowly erode you until he has complete control. Maybe you need to sit down alone and think about whether you want this to continue, because he sure as hell won't change.
A
male
reader, Odds  +, writes (12 October 2010):
 Some people just really like arguing. Getting that out of my system is part of why I use the internet.
I can't see any quick way to change it, unless he decides that it's causing problems in his life. If it's causing difficulties with your family, that may be incentive enough, but you'll have to encourage him to make it work. Even if it works, he may be quiet for a while - just at a loss about what to say.
This trait may just be the price of admission for seeing the guy. Good luck with it either way.
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