A
female
age
30-35,
*_Mae93
writes:i dated this guy for 16 months, he was the best thing that i ever happened to me. he got me out of the worst relationship ever. we got along so great together we were like two peas in a pod, he made me so happy he brung out the real me.. we broke up 3 months ago. because i acted like i didn't appreciate anything he done for me. and he couldn't do it anymore. while we have been broke up we still hungout talked stayed with each other cuddled etc. he has dated 2 girls while we have been broke up. then he started dating this one girl like a month ago. im still not over him not even a little bit.. they got married tuesday, he said he didnt want to get married but he had no choice he was in danger of getting deported, and we have a 11 month old daughter together and he said it was either he got married or he got deported and never see his daughter again. i decided not to have anymore contact with him at all. im still so in love with him. and knowing that he got married just hurts so bad. he didn't tell me got married i just automatically knew. and he didnt even wanna tell me that he got married every time i brought it up he changed the subject. or he ignored me. he said no one knew the only person that knew was his aunt. for 3 months i have had faith and stayed positive that we would work things out and be together.. and now that he is married it just hurts so bad.. i don't know where to start on how to get over him and let him go..any advice?
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female
reader, So_Very_Confused +, writes (6 July 2012):
 well considering I know of a couple who married because they wanted to and he still battled with deportation issues (potential) the fact that you marry may delay deportation but not prevent it.
I think it's very odd that you have a child and are still close and yet he choose to marry someone else with the reasoning he did.
if you dated for 16 months and have an 11 month old and broke up 3 months ago that means you know each other 19 months and you got pregnant pretty much as soon as you met or is my math off?
I agree you need to distance yourself from him as much as possible.... and that's going to be very hard if he wishes to be an involved dad...
stay strong.. time will heal this.
A
female
reader, aunt honesty  +, writes (6 July 2012):
 This is a lot for you to take in and off course you are going to be heart broken, I also feel sorry for his wife as well, because it sounds to me like he is not in love with her mind you am sure she knows this if they have only been together a month.
It is hard to get over a relationship and yes it makes it so much worse when there is a child involved. But you need to remain strong you can do it. You need to cut all contact with him except when it has something to do with the child. Also you should ask a close member of family to drop off the child to him when he has access so you do not need to see him. Distance from him is what you need at the moment. Make sure you have your friends around to support you and keep yourself busy and active. It will get better in time.
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (5 July 2012): if he had to marry someone just to not be deported, why didn't he ask to marry you? (are you a citizen?) I mean, you and him have a kid togehter, right?
well you just have to accept that he's the one who got away, and you let him get away because of how you treated him that made him want to break up with you. so you just need to learn from this mistake that if you love someone you need to treat them better. it doesn't matter how much love you feel in your heart for them, if your actions on the outside show something else.
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