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female
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anonymous
writes: Do you think maybe sometimes i have mixed feelings for my boyfriend of almost 2 months is because he treats me so good and i'm not used to it because sometimes when he does something wrong which is hardly ever or isn't holding me 24/7 i love it just because i have been treated like sh** before. He's a amazing guy and i know falling in love doesn't always happen fast but do you think it could be because of that? When i think of that reason i feel more positive about our relationship. I know it's only been almost 2 months and i know thinking about marriage too soon could ruin it but i only think of it to see if i could picture myself but i guess the best way to figure that out is in like a year or 2 try to live together and see if i can live with him. That's always a good way. Don't let this confuse you either. I do want to be with him. Some people say i am just afraid to break up with him. I don't want to lose him because he's amazing and i think the mixed feelings are starting to clear up. It's just once in awhile, when i'm with him and when i'm not. Thanks! Reply to this Question
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female
reader, kellyO  +, writes (8 August 2006):
 Hi,
I do believe like you indicated in your posting that one of the factors influencing your present relationship is your past one. Having being treated badly previously you find it difficult to allow yourself to be treated with so much love. i do feel u are finding it difficult to let yourself go and feel love and also give love. I felt this way too when my relationship for five years didnt work out. With the help of my friends and family i overcame this and i fell in love again.
You have to ask yourself what u feel for this guy. What if he goes away permanently how would u handled that? If u do have feelings for him then u have to allow him to love you too. Talk to him and let him know how u feel and what u have been through. If he does love you he will want to guide u and show u what it is to really love someone and be loved back. Dont hold back. U deserve to be love, everyone does. Dont allow the defination of what love is, to be disoriented by bad experiences.
Take care of yourself. Goodluck.
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reader, anonymous, writes (8 August 2006): I think you are surprised to have found a good and loving man who can love and appreciate you for who you are. You yourself seem to struggle with your own self worth.
That you are aware is a very good sign.
You may want to get some individual counselling to help guide you and teach you that you are a good woman who is worthy of a good man's love.
Not all things can be done on our own.
You need to heal and get strong from your past unhealthy relationships and counselling is a good road to take.
Congratulations on finally finding that special someone who will and wants to treat you the way you need and deserve. Such a man is worth fighting for; even if it is yourself you are in battle with.
Best of Luck.
*hugs*
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A
female
reader, justice +, writes (8 August 2006):
girl do not live with him because your relationship will end all you have to do is look at it like this your love is a battle a relationship where no one wins you say that you love him you have to try to make it work. so go to a therapist to let out you emotions.
--------smooches
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A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (8 August 2006): Talk to your man - tell him how you feel
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