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Have I been expecting too much from my friend?

Tagged as: Friends, Troubled relationships<< Previous question   Next question >>
Question - (9 November 2009) 1 Answers - (Newest, 11 November 2009)
A age 36-40, anonymous writes:

I'm not sure about what to do with my friends. My one friendship with my friend, "Maggie," seems off and on. When I was in grad school, she never really was there to listen to me when I had a bad day or needed someone to talk to. She didn't get accepted into grad school, so maybe she was jealous/harbored feelings of resentment. She would instead brag about her new friends and some guy who liked her, which was maybe her way of getting back at me- I'm not sure. Now she e-mails me to just brag about things. I know I shouldn't be bothered by her, but it's hard not to defend myself when she makes snippy/rude comments to me or throws things back in my face. I just have come to the realization that growing up means going on our own separate paths in life, but that we may all be growing apart/in different directions. I've always had a few close friends, so it is sad and difficult to go through this. Friends who I thought would be there, really haven't been. Maybe I expected too much out of them, I don't know. It just hurts. Any ideas on how to cope with this or know when to just let go?

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A female reader, la petite belle United States +, writes (11 November 2009):

la petite belle agony aunthello,

The same thing happened to me and although my friend has been with me through some rough patches of my life, she did make a very rude, hurtful comments about my own self and she even went on to saying that my bf was using me for sex (when we have NEVER slept together.. to this day!!!!) when I started dating my now boyfriend and since then I have tried to smooth things out but she keeps making the same mean type of comments and this what I told her

"I don't know what you get out of making me feel bad, I wouldn't ddo that to you. I don't need friends that will put me down... trust me I can do that on my own and I'm pretty good at it, I don't deserve those comments. I have had some rough patches to share with you but I was also fine before I met you (I had some crazy things happent to me before I met her), so don't think that I only want to talk to you to cry on your shoulder... I want to be friends with you but if you are going to keep making hurtful comments I would rather that you keep them to yourself or maybe we should stop being friends..." I have yet to hear from her...

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