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Has he used the "love" word too soon? Am I reading too much into his message? We've been casually dating for three months.

Tagged as: Dating, Love stories, Trust issues<< Previous question   Next question >>
Question - (29 November 2014) 2 Answers - (Newest, 6 December 2014)
A female United States age 36-40, *mouramour writes:

A guy I've been casually dating for the past 3 months told me that he is thankful to have me in his life...and he has "nothing but love for me."

This was in response to me messaging him on Thanksgiving letting him know that I'm grateful to have met him.

I am wondering what others think is his meaning behind the, "I have nothing but love for you" statement. Perhaps I'm reading way too much into it, but the "love" word threw me off a bit. Thanks!!

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A female reader, Amouramour United States +, writes (6 December 2014):

Amouramour is verified as being by the original poster of the question

Thank you so much!!! Both of you. And I completely and totally agree.

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A male reader, WiseOwlE United States + , writes (1 December 2014):

Yes, you are reading too much into a casual reference. People say that all the time, and it is meant in a friendly context.

He didn't say he was "in-love" with you. He didn't say "I love you." He says he has "nothing but love for you." He probably says that to his male buddies.

Cool your jets! It's just an expression people use to show their fondness for you.

I can see you are eager to hear the words. I might suggest that you not attach your feelings too quickly, or let them get ahead of you. It's only a casual-dating, so his emotional expressions are meant casually. Players throw the word around like bait. So beware.

Three months is not enough time to be in-love. That's only enough time to begin the process of emotional-attachment. To get to know a person, and develop good reasons to allow your feelings to grow to that level of endearment.

Love takes time to be truly established; although people like to throw the word around soon into a new relationship. We crave it so badly, we want to hear the words as soon as possible. Even when most people pretend they don't, and claim it's too soon. That's not really how they feel on the inside. On the inside they're ecstatic! They're dying for someone to utter those words. Most of us can't wait to find someone we can say that to. It's only human.

Our highly technological society tends to be a little awkward when it comes to expressions of emotion or conveying our feelings. We use the word "love" out of context. When we mean we are extremely fond of someone, in a high state of like, or in-lust.

Like teenagers who proclaim undying love for each other one week; and two to three weeks later, they've broken-up. By the end of the month, they've moved on to someone else; who is for sure their soul-mate, and one and only love. It amazes me that many of us do this well into our adulthood. We rush to that word, because we want a label on our feelings. The wise thing to do is make sure you're on the same page, and that you've allowed yourself time to know you're feeling what you're saying. When people realize it came out too soon. The other party is left wondering what changed? It didn't change, it wasn't true to begin with.

Be careful to not let the word "love" ring too loudly in your ears, or let it stir your feelings into a frenzy. Don't be alarmed when you hear the word, just consider the timing and circumstances when you hear it. If it seems too soon or inappropriate at that point in time, that means it is. The word Love is definitely a trigger-word. So I know a light went off when you heard him say it.

Take it nice and slow. Always take it in stride when a man uses that word. Let his actions demonstrate his feelings, and only accept the word when his behavior and everything he does says it first. By the time he actually says it, if everything he has done has shown it consistently over an extended period of time, you can believe it. The longer it takes to grow and develop, you can allow trust to develop between you. If he has earned your trust, and you have earned his. Then there is love.

Good luck!

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