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Guys...do you look down on women who agree to have 3-somes with you? Honest answers, please!

Tagged as: Sex<< Previous question   Next question >>
Question - (20 November 2006) 5 Answers - (Newest, 21 November 2006)
A female , anonymous writes:

I am female 24 and had a 3 some with my boyfriend 27 with another female. We had a lot to drink and both enjoyed it and thinking about doing it again. Do you guys look down on a girl that does this or would you ever consider marrying a partner who does this with you? Please help i really love this fella and dont want him to secretly dis respect me!!!!!

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A female reader, anonymous, writes (21 November 2006):

Thanks for your answers, it was more me and the other girl pleasing him but we did play with each other too. Im defiently not by-sexual because i need a man to fufill me and make me come, just really enjoy watching my boyfriend getting turned on. We do have a very good relationship and do communicate very well about what we want. Maybe i better not have another 1 as you all seem to think it will lead to mistrust.

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A male reader, Yos Netherlands +, writes (21 November 2006):

Yos agony auntIt really depends on the guy. For me I would have a lot of trouble with it, but then I wouldn't have agreed to a threesome in the first place. Unfortunately you probably won't know until its too late whether he now respects you or not. Not many people can handle the complex jealousy that comes with threesomes in the context of a relationship, but some can. The key is VERY open communication. Good luck.

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A male reader, anonymous, writes (21 November 2006):

Honestly it would depend a lot on the circumstances surrounding the events.

Guys worry about whether they will be able to make their wife happy in the marriage, so this might be a factor. If he felt you had some unresolved bi issues it could give him pause.

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A male reader, Frank B Kermit Canada +, writes (20 November 2006):

Frank B Kermit agony auntHi Girl,

This depends on the guy. Every guy wants a threesome BUT not every guy can handle the aftereffects. The best way to know is to test him.

Tell him about a "friend" of yours that did this and that, and see what his opinion is. During the threesome, did you act on the other girl, or as it more of you and the other girl paying attention to him?

For some men (and women) sex between two women does NOT count. For other guys, if he is insecure, he might start to think you perfer women to men.

It is for reasons like this that the swinger culture encourages couples to wait until they have been married a few years before trying this stuff.

Now that you have had these experiences, you both will need to decide if this was just a fun activity that you will not do again, or if this is going to be part of an ongoing lifestyle. Will you be doing threesomes when you are married? That is probably the best question you can ask him:If he would like regular threesomes with his wife when he gets married. If he assumes his behavior will change fter he gets married, that is a sign that he has no interest in marrying you.

I have a whole chapter in my book Everything Out of HEr Mouth is a Test on men, and they way they screw up their lives in not being able to deal with sexuality. If your relationship is threatened, have him read it to help mend your bond.

-Frank B Kermit

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A reader, anonymous, writes (20 November 2006):

I am not a fella but I am here to tell you that he will come to mistrust you and it will not be good for your relationship.

Are you bixexual? What are you doing having a threesome when you have to be drunk to enjoy it? This sounds really infantile to me, grow up!

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