A
male
age
36-40,
*aveee
writes:Heya~ I know there has been similar questions posted, but any advice will really be appreciated.Basically I'm gay and only out to a handful of friends. Amongst one of them is my best friend who I've been through uni together with over 6 years. I know he's straight and has had two girls friends, but over the years I've just gotten more and more attracted to him as we tell each other everything. I've been honest and told him that I love him when we're alone together, and his reply has always been "its alrite... everythings good i know". Our friendship has even gotten closer. I've always been there when he needed someone to talk to (i.e. when he broke up with his last girlfriend.) I guess the shitty bit is that throughout the 6 years I've failed to realise how attached to him I've become.In the past, I didn't mind him with a girlfriend. I was happy with just being able to spend some time with him (either with other friends or just the two of us). But recently, He's been on the look out for another girlfriend. Guess some part of me has changed, and whenever he mentions anything about potential girlfriends, it hurts.... beginning to hurt a lot.I guess its stupid on my part to be attached to a str8 guy so much. I've reflexively started damage control, and have been avoiding and ignoring him when our social group goes out for dinner/movie or something (not sure if thats the right thing to do?). I just can't stop those feelings when I'm around him. This is only recent and I'm too down to just go out and meet someone new....What should I do? any advice please?Am I not suited to be his friend anymore? (I can't pretend that it doesn't hurt anymore)
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
female
reader, Azula  +, writes (19 July 2009):
 Your always welcome. Feel free to ask again.
We are always glad to help you.
And thanks for letting us know that we've been a help.
A
male
reader, daveee +, writes (14 July 2009):
daveee is verified as being by the original poster of the questionThanks Azula and Otherstarfish,Thank you for your kind reply. It was really nice of yous to share your opinion. I think you're right, some time down the track meeting someone new would be the answer. I just don't want to let this feeling of jealousy (and to some extent selfishness) spoil a friendship that lasted throughout uni. Just gotta snap outta it I guess. Pretty hard to deal with I must admit, I'm distancing myself from him for a little bit at the moment. Just makes it that tiny little bit easier.Thank you once again for showing interest.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (11 July 2009):
there is nothing wrong with being in love with your friend. but it doesn't have to go anywhere - you can love from afar and be pleased for it.
are you single? i suspect that you are - go find someone for you and i think your feelings for your friend will cool....
star.x.
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A
female
reader, Azula +, writes (10 July 2009):
Of course you are well suited to be his friend.As you said you know a lot about each other.You are one of the few people that know things about him.Well why not confront him, he might be straight but you might mean something to him or deeper than what you think.Obviously your being jealous on the other girls. Tell him what your feeling but be ready for the outcome.It might be better than keep hurting yourself.The last option is to move on.
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