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Good girl fallen for bad boy! Can it work?

Tagged as: Dating, The ex-factor<< Previous question   Next question >>
Question - (12 June 2009) 2 Answers - (Newest, 13 June 2009)
A female United States age 30-35, anonymous writes:

So my ex boyfriend and I are starting to 'talk' again and it's highly likely we're going to get back together this summer. This will be the third time. I admit I'm nervous about it and I have my insecurities but it's like whenever were not together I want to be so bad. Before now, it was 4 months we were broken up and I still couldn't get rid of the feelings for him. I'm tempted to say I love him even though I barely believe in it. The thing is, if we get back together, there will be obstacles. For 1; my parents don't like him. Another is that his lifestyle isn't that great. He smokes weed, drinks, and doesn't really have money and lives in a bad area and does horrible in school. I on the other hand have this great future planned out for me, I have straight A's,sports, ect, and am your classic good girl. Also, hes 18 and im 16. I dont know if tbis matters or not but. Anyways, what I want to know is can a relationship last regardless of just material things in life?For how long? Would it work if I still worked to keep my life the same and just added him in in a way? I don't want to sound mean or stuck up but he's not going far and he knows this but he doesn't care. Or should I be prepared for heartbreak but still look forward to finding someone who's going places? r

View related questions: get back together, money, my ex, smokes

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A female reader, NancyLeo United States +, writes (13 June 2009):

Well, well, well. I had the same thing happened to me when I was in college.

Number ONE: if your parents don't like hime is 99.9% it will not work out. I have always liked bad boys but guess why, now I come to realize that it's becuase I am so incredibly smart in school but naive about real life. Guys are born sales men. They will entice you and seduct you and make you dream about this fairy tail and make promisses they don't intend to keep. I say that if it's love, tell him you would like him to do better in school. It's for his own good.

Now, he does weed and dirnks. Those are 2 big NO NO's for a young fella. By the time he is 25 he will be completely incapable of retaining, processing and executing processes. His brain will be dormant. Weed as you know kills neurons or brain cells and this kind of cells do never regenerate. I had a friend that did a lot of weed when he was in HS and now gosh, he can't even get a simple joke, he makes a huge long pause before answering any questions and he's got a great sense of humor but gosh you can't not rely on him at all.

Unless you want to be a sugarmamma for this guy, which seems possible sounds like you are doing great in school, I say go fidn someone that has ambition, the good kind, no thugs please, and someone that has goals in life and is close to his family. Your mother can tell you in 10 minutes if this guys is going to make you happy or not. Trust me I keep saying this to myself but my mom could ahve saved me years. Now is too late. I've learned my lesson. So, please don't quit school ever. Don't ever stop learning new tings everyday and find someone more like you. Remember there are millions of men out there! but you only need one! So, it should be fairly easy to find :) Good luck!

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A male reader, anonymous, writes (13 June 2009):

This story is as old as the human race.

Every generation of women messes themselves up trying to change the ending. But the ending never changes.

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