A
male
age
36-40,
*werty123456
writes:I don't know why I feel the way I do, and I'm so confused.Me and my girlfriend have been together for a few months now. But I've always had a few extreme problems. Since our schedules are so busy, we're getting less and less time to talk. That's fine with me, but she rarely, if ever, shows that she cares or shows affection for me. It bothers me a lot that she doesn't know to care and mostly everything she does, she does it for herself. It's not that she doesn't care, but I think rather, she just doesn't know to show her emotions. She says she's always had problems with showing emotions (more than normal) all her life, she'd always bottle everything inside and hide her emotions to everyone. And that just bothers me a lot because for example last time she was annoyed / mad at me, and I didn't realize, and I went through a whole week of agonizing and asking her before she finally told me and we fixed it. Her friends and mine sometime say she looks like she's just not serious about the relationship but I know for certain that is not true. She says all of her ex's have said she is a crappy girlfriend. And so I just associate her uncaring-ness as just her personality. But then I just wonder if she realizes she realizes that, then why doesn't she just change some part of herself?I love her to death but I see my friends with their girls and I wonder why mine acts so differently. I'd always make an effort to spend time with her when I can (because we get reallyyy little time with each other as it is) but she never really seems to reciprocate. I thought her uncaringness and standoffish personality in the beginning of the relationship was just a phase we had to go through. But even after she's admitted to me that I am probably the closest guy she's ever been to, she's still acting...indifferent. I understand she's really independent and stuff but this has really gotten to a point where I just think she doesn't know how to express her feelings and her emotions are really messed up like she says.But like, is this really possible? For someone to be like this, like constantly? It's like she was made with just half the "caringness and loving" personalities of a girl. Growing up she's always been like a tomboy and has a million guy friends, so I wonder if that's the reason she is like this. I love her a lot but this always bothers me because I always have to guess and wonder if she still likes me. I've talked to her about it and she says she realizes this and will try to change, but nothing's ever been done. Why is she like this? Is it just her? Or am I just being really weird about this? Please help.
View related questions:
her ex Reply to this Question
Share |
Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
female
reader, cella  +, writes (10 March 2009):
 hi there.Well id like to say firstly,you met her this way,so its not like she has just suddenly changed.so i dont see anything suspicious here.Unfortunetly we are all different in terms of affection,some more affectionate than others,and it is very difficult when one in a relationship is more affectionate than the other.If you really love this girl,you shouldnt want to change her.She is the way she is and as hard as it is you will need to accept this if you want it to last.ive been in a very simular relationship,and im still in it now,8years later,the guy is still the very same.Putting that little problem aside,he has great points that i focas on....YOU can try things(for example) such as walking past her,just give her a hug out of the blue,do this as often as you can and who knows maybe she in time may do the same. good luck .
|
