A
male
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes:I'm in a long distance relationship with my girlfriend who I'm deeply in love with. We've been dating for about 7 months now and have had our ups and downs but recently, just a couple of days ago, she got really moody towards me; answers my questions with one word answers, she doesn't have much to say to me and stuff like that. At first I thought she was mad at me but I couldn't for the life of me figure out what I did wrong, every time I asked she would say it was nothing and that she was fine. I quickly figured out that she wasn't mad at me specifically but that something was bothering her. So yesterday I confronted her and asked her to tell me what was bothering her and that I knew that something was the matter. She told me that she didn't have to tell me every single thing and to let the matter drop. I tried to drop it but I knew that it was something big because she was deeply bothered by it and had been for 3-4 days now. So we fought about it through the day and that night she told me that she wont tell me what this big secret is because she thinks it'll hurt me. I told her that whatever secret it is, to me it sounds bad and that she should just tell me. But she wouldn't budge on the matter and just told me she was done arguing about it and to think whatever. I don't know what to think right now, I think her not telling me is making everything worse, I'm imagining a thousand different scenarios right now, and even though she tells me that she loves me and that I have nothing to worry about I don't know what to think. Going a little crazy, please help...P.S. I'm 23
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reader, anonymous, writes (29 March 2010): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionThanks everybody for your helpful answers. I decided to drop asking what the "secret" is for now, but its still in the back of my mind. She promised me that it was nothing bad and I trust her. I'm just going to give her some space and time and hopefully she opens up to me in the near future, for the time being I'm going to enjoy being with her, planning a trip to go see her for mid-late April.
A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (27 March 2010): dude iv been there before she has kissed or done something with someone else. simple matter of the fact is you just have to leave her alone for now give her some space and let her come to you.. dont preasure her more or it will cause her to act more distant and it will only make the situation worse. goodluck pal, please reply here if she tells you what it is!
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A
male
reader, serenity80  +, writes (26 March 2010):
I think you need to pull back from this situation and give her space and time. The more you push the issue, the more reason she will be able to turn the issue on to you. It does sound suspicious, in that maybe something happened with someone else, or that she is having doubts about the relationship. The worst thing though is for you to push it.
If anything, try and get out and see your friends moe, and remind yourself that there are plenty of other options out there. I don't mean to cheat on her, but simply put this in to context. You've only been dating for a few months and you're a LDR. When you remind yourself that she isn't The One, the more confident you will be in dealing with whatever the issue is with her. Good luck!
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A
female
reader, RichTea +, writes (26 March 2010):
 Right, there are several things that it could be. The obvious scenario could be that maybe something has happened between her and another lad. This is common in long distance relationships. If she wont tel you wat it is, dont push her. Tell her that you think her not tellin you is making it all worse and you are really worried. Also tell her that no matter what it is, you are here for her and will talk about it with her when she is ready. Maybe she doesnt know if she can trust you or not. You really need to let her know that you are here for her but also that your her boyfriend and you are here to help her and listen.Good Luckx
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A
male
reader, CaringGuy +, writes (26 March 2010):
Hmm, there are a few different reasons. If she actually said she thinks it will hurt you, then it could very well be that she cheated or something like that, or that she wants to end it. Of course, there is no proof of this.
She could also be ill or something like that and not want to say anything.
For the moment, don't push her or pressurize her. Just listen to her and how she acts. The more you listen and don't push her the more likely she will open up. So just listen, be understanding and don't push anything.
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