A
male
age
51-59,
anonymous
writes:My girlfriend and I were engaged just before Christmas. Then she went to Florida for a a trip to see her friend, Alexandra, a woman.Last night she calls around 7 and says she'll be going out but will call later. I tell her I may go to sleep early.I decided to stay awake after all, so I send her an email and voicemail telling her that, and I ask her to call me.She never calls. 14 hours pass without a call.I call a few times in that time, during which her phone is on until 1am, then off until 5am (when she usually wakes up), but she doesn't answer the phone until 9am.When she answers it she says she "just woke up". So I ask how it is her "phone was off during the night, and then on 4 hours before she wakes up?"She can't explain it. I find this very suspicious. Wouldn't you?
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reader, anonymous, writes (28 December 2011): Yep, it's much better to discuss things like this face to face. Less room for misunderstanding, and easier to tell whether the other person is being honest or not.
I hope 2012 is a new start for you both! Good luck and take care :)
A
reader, anonymous, writes (27 December 2011): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionRe: Grilling.We both do it to each other on occasion.Re: Other reasons not to trust.Two things:(1) Last year when she went to Florida she made a bad joke about having sex with someone she knew, so her going to Florida again just brought that to mind. (She was married once before, and he may have lived in Florida.)(2) This time, when I called the number where she was staying the answering machine had a man's voice, though the outgoing message made it clear a man and woman lived there.Today, she has explained it was her girlfriend's son's voice on the machine. I got to talk with him on the phone afterwards, too, though in the time that past I couldn't recall the voice.As it is I think we have moved past this moment. We both have some trust issues to deal with; which we'll discuss when she gets back.She hopes to be back in time for New Years so we can be together for the start of a new year.
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A
male
reader, Sageoldguy1465 +, writes (27 December 2011):
 Do you have other trust issues?????
I wouldn't waste single neuron of my mental energy being suspicious of this....
IF you want/need a reason to dump her... or pick a fight with her..... then use this incident....
IF you and she have a good relationship, why risk screwing it up based on such flimsy evidence?
Good luck...
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A
female
reader, So_Very_Confused +, writes (27 December 2011):
 Do you grill her often on her phone?
Sometimes my phone is on but not getting a signal so it goes right to voice mail and i don't register a missed call.
has she ever done anything to warrant you being suspcious of her beahavior?
clearly you think she's cheating... why other than her phone?
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (27 December 2011): When you say "she can't explain it", what exactly did she tell you?
Don't jump to any conclusions. Chances are there's a logical explanation for it. I, for example, turn off my phone before I go to bed, but sometimes wake up in the small hours (I'm not a great sleeper). I'll often turn my phone back on then to check the time, see if I have any late-night texts, or listen to the radio, but generally forget to switch it off before I fall asleep again. If you rang me after I'd woken up, you'd find my phone on - but I wouldn't be awake to answer it. Might something like this have happened?
Your girlfriend could have woken up at 5 as usual and turned on her phone, but gone back to sleep until 9. After all, four hours between 1 and 5 isn't long to catch up on rest - particularly if you've had a tiring evening. I'd find it weird, but not necessarily suspicious. Do you have any other reasons not to trust your girlfriend?
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