A
male
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:I'm confused. My girlfriend and I agreed while still on our break to stay away from each other until she's ready to come back to me.Now, I've noticed that, lately, she's dropped by my stuff a few times, last week. And, that's more often than last month, in which she hardly looked at my profile on my favorite site. I know it's her. The question is, why... why is she kind of not following up with her end of the deal? Is she trying to communicate something, but, wants me to initiate? If so, I wish she wouldn't be like that. But, if she really wants/needs me to initiate, I'll do it, if it means saving my relationship.
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (1 December 2015): Well I think she just got cold feet because you were sure that she was the one for you and she wasn't sure that she was ready for that kind of comittment.We often become the product of our environment so I would guess you had two parents who were happy to be together and happy to have a family.This has made you into a caring loving human being who expects positive outcomes from a relationship like getting engaged or getting married and then building a home and family.As you are probably aware no two families are the same and you can get situations behind closed doors that puts a person off from wanting to get deeper in.For example it may be constant arguing or constant financial insecurity or constant warmongering amongst each other.This makes the person much less likely to want to follow the same pathway so as you say that she has gone to study I expect she is figuring that she must earn a living and not depend on anyone else financially.Or she is just not ready to escalate the relationship to another level.But whatever the case is she has decided to end it and you have to both move on.She may peek at your online journals just because she thinks you are friends and not an item and you wouldn't mindI guess you will have to tell her that as you are no longer a couple you don't want her viewing your online entries.
A
reader, anonymous, writes (30 November 2015): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionWhy would she check up on me to see if I met anyone else? I kept telling her she was the right one for me. She denied it, saying she had to focus on work and school before relationship. Me, being patient, I wouldnMt have minded at all.
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (28 November 2015): I think she is checking up on you to see if you have met anyone else.I'm not keen on "on a break" stuff.At your age you might consider being intolerant of someone who needs a break from you.You are in the highly desirable age bracket and miss/on/ a/break should appear less appealing to you than she did.If her head is so mixed up that she needs a month to think about whether or not she wants to be with you then she is miss/slow/timing!Miss/slow/timing might soon be turning into miss missed opportunity.People who love each other don't need to take a break of one twelfth of a year to figure out if their relationship can work out.She isn't necessarily the girl for you because any guy who works on a boat at weekends with his dad is one good catch and ideally your partner should be down there full of admiration and a picnic!But no,she has decided to shop from a distance.I may not understand the nuances of youth but if you wait around and she gets back with a no thank you then youmust thank her for setting you free.A whole load of on/off stuff is a bit of a burden.Like the characters out of a certain long standing american soap with a friendly title ,this constant breaking off making up kind of thing only proves that the rest of the world moves on and there is no happy ending other than the freedom to do the same.Being young or emotionally immature isn't a curse..it is just a fact of life.But taking charge of your destiny or inadvertantly falling on your feet is also a possibility.At least you have a nice dad!But you also have all of your own untapped future potential and it is this that you may finally become aware of.I think the girlfriend may also be young and immature so in a way its a good learning experience for you both, but it is no indicator that she will become your future wife and life partner!However someone else will!
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (19 November 2015): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionShe broke off with me, said we should part ways, and, yet, still drops by my Journals.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (9 November 2015): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionIs it possible that her more frequent visits mean she's been thinking of me more often, lately?
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (9 November 2015): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionShe... is worrying about me moving on? That might be it. I posted quite a few status updates with some goals, and suchlike. For example, I posted a status update that tells those who are following me (and, she's one of them) that I worked on my boat with my Dad over the past few weekends, which is true. You have nice advice.
I'll do the best I can to follow up with what you're telling me, my friend.
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A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (9 November 2015): Probably she is worrying you may move on so is checking up on you. but i wouldn't contact her yet. If you want to save your relationship at this stage you have to appear strong, busy, not sad about things. if you seem like you cannot get along without her you will appear weak and needy.
I would wait and see if she initiates. as you are waiting for her to come back to you, just wait and see if she does. you cannot give her the power over you, you have to show her that you are doing just fine without her.
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