A
male
age
41-50,
anonymous
writes:Hello this girl and me decided to become FWB last october. We agreed to this no emotional attachments, well last week she told she was 6 weeks pregnant and wants the baby. we're both 28 and this would be the first for both of us. I don't know what to do. we don't have a BF-GF relationship. I don't if it's a good idea. I don't want him to find out he wasn't the result of love, Reply to this Question
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female
reader, athenas +, writes (20 June 2009):
Im sure you dont want to kill a baby, wait your baby. Those are the results of unprotected sex but what seems to you as a nightmmare right now will turn into a blessing in the future believe me (I experienced it) watching ur little one taking her first step her first words giving you a kiss holding your hand its not bad afterall. Im sure your going to be a great father that baby deserves her chance you guys had yours. Good Luck!!!
A
reader, anonymous, writes (20 June 2009): Well these are the consequences of having sex outside of a committed relationship without proper birth control.
You and the woman have choices to make. At six weeks, she can easily choose to terminate the pregnancy. I would try to talk to her about that option. You two are not in love and you do not want a child at this time in your lives. Speak to her about how well she can viably support the child as a single mother and how this will affect her life as well as her future goals of marriage, how will it impact her dating life as you have no possibility of a future together as you are not in love with each ot her.
It is not worth ruining three lives to carry this pregnancy to term, but if she refuses, then there is the option of adoption. Otherwise, she will have the baby, her parents will have to help raise it and you will be paying child support for the next 18 years as well as some educational and child care costs and fighting for custody rights and paying big bucks in legal fees to get everything settled.
What can I say, you made your bed, now lie in it? Not very empathetic, but these are the choices that YOU made. Unprotected sex with a woman who was willing to open her legs for you without commitment.
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (20 June 2009): Well as long as you were honest from the start you dont owe her anything emotionally but misttakes happen so you should at least be considerate towards her. You BOTH got into this mess so now you have to just make the best out of it. It wont matter to the baby if it was not a product of love as long as you both love it.In saying that I seriously reccomend a paternity test. Im not saying your friends with benefits is a slut or anything but if you werent exclusive with her she may have been with others as well.I would also reccomend that you go to the doctor and get checked for infections as obviously condoms were not part of the equation.I know that sex is fun but wouldnt you rather that it was with someone that you loved?? Or do you have no interest in ever settling down?Good luck.
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A
male
reader, rcn +, writes (20 June 2009):
 When you have a child, will you love that child? If so, that's the result that matters. You have a child coming. My recommendation is to be in his or her life, be a caring loving parent. That's it. How your baby came, now is not important, what is, is how you treat the child after they arrive.
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