A
male
age
51-59,
anonymous
writes:Has your partner ever asked you to do something nasty or freaky, and the first time he asked you were shocked or found it weird, but eventually came to really enjoy it? What was it he asked for.I have been in a committed relationship for many years, and I just seem to desire more and more kinky things. When I have mustered up the courage to broach the subject on a few occasions, my girl has seemed shocked. I just let it go. I am wondering if maybe I should pursue some of these, cause she never said no.These are not painful things, but rather things like having her flash my friends, wear see thru or gaping clothes, watching other men do stuff to her, have her watch me do stuff with another girl, and the worst, having her put a dildo in me bum. What would u girls think if your man wanted these out of the blue? Have you ever gone with kinky stuff reluctantly only to find that you really liked it? What? How weird am I? Or, how weird will she think I am?
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female
reader, StrayTogether.com +, writes (5 August 2010):
 I've always been very open to the fact that different people like different things, so no one's ever asked me for something I found shocking or even weird. I sort of just thought, "Hmmm ... never thought of that one," and went right along with it.
Asking her to stimulate you anally is probably going to get the LEAST resistance. In my opinion, if you find her to be the type of partner that wants to please you, then she ought to go along with this. Many men find this exciting, as the anus and prostate both offer sexual stimulation on different levels than one's penis does.
Those things which involve other people may well get you a flat out, "NO WAY!" However, what you describe is known as "soft swinging," and many people enjoy this.
As a soft swinger myself, I can tell you that watching another women please my man is quite exciting. We often go out with others and enjoy this type of experience. Then, when we're home alone, we make love, and it's on an entirely different level. The key, in our opinion, is our ability to separate sex from love. Many are unable (or unwilling) to do this, and I must admit that it's not the easiest of tasks. We are both very open minded in this regard and, as all relationships have their ups and downs, this has honestly caused us FEWER problems than typical, every day issues.
One thing every swinger will tell you: You MUST be secure in your current relationship in order to enjoy swinging and not have it ruin your relationship. Do plenty of research on the topic and make sure your relationship is secure before you even broach the subject.
You might consider joining a swingers club and going one evening as voyeurs and not participants. It may turn out that this both satisfies your needs and stimulates her, without going that next step of interaction.
If it turns out that she's willing in any way, shape, or form, make sure you communicate, communicate, communicate, before, during, and after your experiences.
Fondly yours,
Jill
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (5 August 2010): Coco Queen - you're too cute, "don't came at her with ALL the things you want to do at once." Love that and totally agree.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (3 August 2010): I agree that some of those things could come off as degrading but at the same time, that appeals to some people on occasion. Its called submission. If your girl isn't submissive, she won't go for it or more more importantly if she does she won't enjoy it. Flashing your friends and skimpy clothing sounds more like your girl is a hottie and you're showing off your trophy. Consider your pissing contest won and get more creative. Maybe start with a pair of fuzzy handcuffs, some champagne, and some mirrors. She'll be more apt to participate if you present your case properly.
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A
female
reader, cocoqueen88 +, writes (3 August 2010):
 don't came at her with ALL the things you want to do at once. ease into it asking her how she feels about those type of things. and no you arent wierd. people do those types of things all the time
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (3 August 2010): Ok firstly I would say having a dildo in your bum is the least bad, and the only one I personally would be up for wiht my man. If thats what he wants, thats what I will give him, as men get a lot of pleasure from it. But the other stuff is really degrading. FOr me, I wouldnt be comfortable sharing myself with my man's friends, because then they would all see me in a very slutty, degraded way, and also consequently think less of him for dating a slut!
I hope that helps, and maybe try to think of some more exciting things for just you two... maybe a porn film? Kinda like having other people there... Just an idea! :)
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A
female
reader, Oregongrl1 +, writes (3 August 2010):
More power to ya! better you then me.
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A
female
reader, Angelicc  +, writes (3 August 2010):
 Everyone finds pleasure in different measures. It's not that uncommon now a days to find people who like to indulge in out of the box ideas in pleasure. I don't see any harm in asking
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