A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:I've been friends with this guy for virtually our whole lives. We were both in serious relationships with other people throughout high school that have both ended a year or so back. We used to mess around a few months ago, but just drifted apart for a while on good terms. Recently, we've been spending more time together (going out to eat places, seeing movies, spending time with his family), as well as messing around more. Once we started to go further (he's a virgin, I'm not), he hesitated and I told him to stop if he felt uncomfortable. He now feels certain he wants to take things further with me without any regrets. I guess I'm just looking for advice, and also I'm not sure if I should push the issue of being in an official relationship. His ex knows we spend a lot of time together, but he doesn't want to upset her by making me officially his girlfriend (she still has feelings even though he only wants to be friends), and I haven't pushed the issue for fear of him not genuinely asking me himself. We both decided we don't simply want to be in a "friends with benefits" label and that he wants his first time to mean something to both of us.
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female
reader, Fate100percent  +, writes (9 September 2011):
That is hard to answer. Do you think you can go back to being friends (as the way it was before if you get into a relationship??)
The main thing that stands out to me is 'He doesn't want to upset his ex by making you officially his girlfriend...'
It seems he may not be as 'over' his ex as he says...(otherwise he wouldn't really care-it's not like you two have been seeing each other behing her back is it?)
Perhaps just stay friends for now, and see how his feelings/thoughts about what his ex thinks are in a few months? x
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