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Friends--is it worth the stress?

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Question - (15 December 2009) 1 Answers - (Newest, 15 December 2009)
A age 36-40, anonymous writes:

My best friend, "Jane" and I have known each other for 10 years now. I moved away and she stayed in the town where we both grew up. I became busy with grad school and work and she was busy with her job. Over time, she figured if I didn't call her, I didn't want to talk to her - or if I didn't ask her how she was at least once a day, she wouldn't tell me anything, good news or bad. When we talked on the phone or online, me asking her how she was doing and if anything had happened of late, I got a "nothing" or "same old." It wasn't that I didn't ask, it was that I didn't ask enough times, or maybe that I wasn't specific enough in my questioning.

We had a fight towards the end of last year. She called, all upset that I never called her. I told her that I was busy with school, a full-time job, and to top it off I lost a family member. I did try, such as, when I didn't have time to sit down and call I would e-mail her, send her a card in the mail, or text message. Apparently my efforts were not enough. She told me that if I really cared I would make time and call and so on. I was angry at this point. I had enough of her telling me that I didn't care at all just because I didn't call her every single day and why she wasn't talking to me. I almost blew up at her. I told her that I was so busy with school and work that I could barely stand up when I came home, and also had to deal with the stress of losing a loved one.

So towards the summer this year, I thought maybe things would be headed back to normal. Maybe she would calm down and open up. I asked her how she was, called her, e-mailed her, etc. You know what I got? One word answers and when we would meet up, she would complain about how boring it was.

I am beginning to wonder if it is worth the stress. I would hate to lose her as a friend but the more I try to bring things back, the more she pushes me away.

Any comments would be awesome. Is it worth it?

View related questions: best friend, text

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A reader, anonymous, writes (15 December 2009):

This is verified as being by the original poster of the question

She did come over with some food after she found out and she did attend the wake and funeral.

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