A
male
age
36-40,
*attheweyre
writes:im finding it realy hard to trust my wife ive bin wit her 7 years at 12 mmonth we went out and i caught her talking to another lad i think she kissed him but cant remeber for certain then at 15 month we had a break in our relationship she went out with a friend and got pissed she said she never did anything with anyone and came bk to my house for some loving so y am i finding it so hard to trust her
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female
reader, Abrasive_Reality  +, writes (30 December 2008):
I think in marriage its important to have trust and faith, well I also think this goes for any relationship. You love her, and she loves you, that's important to remember.
I think that unless she did something to make you not trust her at some point then you cant second guess her. Maybe you were in a relationship prior where there were trust issues, but when you entered a relationship with her, I'm sure it was important for you to let her know that you trust her.
The important thing is that she told you that she never did anything, and if i were you, id take and run with it. You want to believe every word that comes out of your spouses mouth, and even though that may be hard, its something to work towards and something that can make your relationship rise above all the rest.
Good luck though, and I really hope you work through this!
*Remember: Trust is everything, and when that's gone, you have nothing.
A
female
reader, katatonik +, writes (30 December 2008):
 Let me get this straight...she possibly kissed a guy (but you evidently weren't too bothered by it at the time if she did, because you can't remember it now?)
Then, when you two were on a break, aka not dating, she went out with a friend. Well, at that point she didn't really owe you anything, as the two of you weren't together. She says she didn't don anything with the guy, and even if she had, you can't technically demand her loyalty if the two of you aren't committed to one another.
Suspicious? Maybe. But what you've mentioned here isn't really valid evidence for distrust in the present. If you have a sense that she may be unfaithful to you NOW, or has been unfaithful since you have been back together with her, feel free to trust that sense and keep an eye on her. I'm not saying hire an investigator or read her private mail, e-mail, text messages, or anything like that. Don't. Just keep an eye on her, and if something seems out of the ordinary bring it up to her and see how she responds. But I don't think it's fair to distrust her completely over inconclusive doubts that she *may* have done something six years ago. You might also seek counseling with her if there are problems with your relationship that you feel might cause her to stray. Good luck =]
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