A
female
age
30-35,
*uck Fantasy
writes:Well here it goes. My boyfriend and I have been together for about four months now. I know that I love him. I am old enough and mature enough to understand what that means. He has become one of the people in the world I am closest to. He knows more about me than most people in my life. He loves me too. That shows. Everything should be perfect but.... no.This is my first relationship in which I am both happy and completely committed. I have never felt this way before. Usually the idea of commitment scares me and I find excuses to end things with guys but in this situation if he asked to marry me today I'd seriously consider accepting. I'm attached to him. I'm not used to that.Now here's the problem. He is leaving the country for a year. This was something he had begun setting up before we met and started dating. He has a job offer overseas. It will only be for a year but I really am having a hard time with this. I have a hard time being away from him for a few days.I'm prone to depression and becoming emotional and I'm also terrified of losing him. The rational part of me knows that he loves me and won't cheat but I'm so worried that he will find someone else or we'll grow apart. Part of me wishes I could go with him but I am currently attending college and working on getting my degree and I really don't want to put that on hold and he doesn't want me to do that either.I can see myself spending the rest of my life with this man... if we can make it past this. I don't know what exactly I'm looking for but I just want help and support and some good old fashioned advice. Crying to him about this is just making him worry about me and how I'll be once he actually leaves and no one I am close to can really relate to this. I'm so sick of hearing that this is a good opportunity for him and that I have to deal with it, or that I'll be okay. Those statements are most likely true but they aren't helping me deal with this.Any advice? Reply to this Question
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
male
reader, realman +, writes (13 August 2010):
I have to say,it's really a tough problem you're facing. Long distance always makes lovers grow apart. Actually, I don't want to say this to you, but the rational part of my brain reminds me to tell you the rule, I think you know it too, so the key problem is if he goes there only a year, not more . if only a year, and he really loves you, that can be made it. in that a year, you can go there to see him often, he also can return to see you . if you two can't do this in a year, I'm afraid your relationship is likely to be broken. on the other hand, if he goes there for years, then, the thing I worry about will happen. I'm not sure if my advise is useful and helpful for you. I hope you can get what you wish.
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