A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:Hello, I'm in a relationship and have been for a few months, he is the best thing that has ever happened to me and I could not be happier. About a month ago I was out at a bar with friends and family and this guy I used to hang around with kept trying it on with me, after numerous times of telling him to back off he wouldn't listen to me, it took a family member to tell him to stop for him to actually listen, and he did. A few hours later into the night I popped outside and he followed, seeing as we used to hang out mutually we talked for a bit, he then asked for a hug and said he was sorry for earlier (trying it on) I said it was fine and have him a friendly hug, as I went to hug him he tried to kiss me so I turned my head and he tried to kiss my neck, such a slime ball! I immediately pushed him away, he was very drunk and probably didn't know what he was doing but his actions have infuriated me and I feel guilty for his actions. I don't understand why I should feel guilty for someone else's actions, I never kissed him but the fact he tried it on makes me feel guilty. I am infatuated with my partner and would never do anything to hurt him. Why do I feel guilty? It is constantly on my mind. Should I just forget it?Please help. Thankyou.
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reader, anonymous, writes (19 February 2015): It's not guilt. You're humiliated!
Maybe you feel sorry for him being stupid drunk and acting so pathetically. Guilt on your part is inappropriate. Are you feeling responsible for his disgusting behavior? YOU'RE NOT!!! He knew what he was doing. He kept trying, he didn't pass-out in a stupor. Did he?
You're just second-guessing yourself, for being in the wrong place at the wrong time. You probably had a gut-feeling earlier that night you shouldn't even be there. Girlfriend, you just needed to slap somebody that night; and you'd feel better for it right now.
My dear, you did nothing wrong. HE WAS BEHAVING BADLY!!!
NOT YOU!!! He embarrassed you in every way possible. The guilt is all his! You were with family and friends having a lovely evening, and he ruined it for you. Not your fault.
Let it go, don't let it bother you anymore.
A
female
reader, Honeypie + ♥, writes (19 February 2015):
 Forget it, YOU didn't ASK this dude to
1. follow you
2. try and kiss you
You feel guilty because you "think" you should have foreseen this guy would TRY to kiss you. You feel guilty because you "think" it's YOUR fault he followed you and then disrespected you.
IT'S NOT.
YOU should NOT take ownership of HIS actions. NOT one bit.
The guy is a moron, asshat, total slimeball. NOT your doing or your fault.
(and just FYI being drunk is NO excuse for not respecting someone's boundaries and I would SERIOUSLY consider NOT counting him among your friends ever again)
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