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age
36-40,
anonymous
writes: I've been feeling really bad lately. The friends who I thought were my true friends don't seem that way- they seem to only call when they need a favor or have a problem. When I have a problem, they pretend to listen or act like they care, but then change the topic so it reflects on them. My one friend changed and started treating mutual friends and I like dirt. I talked to her in person about this, which isn't it the "adult" thing to do? Well, it turns out she started trash talking me to another friend! Saying how I am the one with the problem, and how I supposedly blamed it all on her. (I didn't!) I know the simple solution is to find new friends, but I'm 25 and outta school, so it's hard to meet others when people still have all of their college friends. I also stink at meeting new people. I don't know what to do and am feeling so depressed and sad.
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male
reader, CaringGuy  +, writes (7 November 2009):
Well to me it sounds like the one friend who trashed you isn't worth another second of your time, and you did do the right thing by confronting her. Never allow yourself to be treated badly, so well done there. Forget about her.
I'm afraid to say that it sounds as if you've matured at a faster rate, and you've simply outgrown some of your older friends. If they see you as a therapist instead of a friend, then perhaps they see you as more mature and someone who is trustworthy, but they are unsure of how to deal with you when you hvae some problems. You don't need to end things with those other friends, but you do need to try and widen your circle a bit. There are very few people who can truly make friends easily. Lots of people can make acquaintances, but true friendships take time. Make sure you're socializing, and I would suggest spending some time on yourself just building up your own confidence, then doing a hobby where other people will interact with you (dancing, a martial art, anything like that) and you can just get to know others. If you do feel very depressed, then also talk to your doctor. you don't need to suffer silently. All the best.
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