A
female
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes:Let me just get to the point. There's this guy that I have been in and out of a relationship with for years. He says he loves me, and I will always have a place in his heart. He also says that he would never let me go no matter what obstacles may come. Yes, how romantic and sweet right, but there's this girl that's been there even longer than and I have. She knows him a little better and when he's not in a relationship with her that's when he's with me. I love my guy with all my heart. At first he was the one chasing me for about a year, now I feel as though I'm the one waiting in line. I hate feeling as though I'm a sideline chick. I deserve more than what he's dishing out. How can I show him that I'm the one or is it worth proving? Help me on this one.... Reply to this Question
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male
reader, softtouchmale2003 +, writes (28 August 2009):
 This is not unusual. I was in a very long term relationship with a woman who I am still in love with. She said the same thing that she would never let me go. In the beginning she was after me for 2 months before we finally clicked. What followed was another six years of what was what I thought a great relationship.Then, she decided to go back to another man leaving me speechless. In my situation I relocated, retrained for work, and spent a great deal of effort, money and time to be with her.She has acknowledged the intense efforts I underwent to be there for her. Yet she keeps going back and running from me.By the way, this happened twice already.It seems some people simply cannot see what they have right in front of them. The prior love interest seems to have some kind of pull on them enough to make them leave the relationship they are in with you, even though they connected with you because the prior love interest treated them badly enough to leave.In my situation she knows that she has hurt me deeply but felt compelled to give him yet another chance. "Why?" always comes to mind. Therefore, I am on the sidelines and am still struggling every day with it.So taking personal experience into account, I have to say that inasmuch as you love this man who keeps leaving you for the prior love interest, and then runs to you when that relationship breaks up; then you are not "the one" in his life. For if you were, he would devote himself to you. This hasn't happened and in all probability may never happen.Your best bet is to track him down and tell him that you're through being Number 2 in his life and if that's all you'll ever be, then he ought to stick with what he went back to.
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