| A ,
anonymous
writes: I am 21 and have been married to my husband for 2 years. Our marriage has had it's ups and downs, we fight alot. I have recently had dreams of cheating on my husband with one of his best friends. This really excites me!! Since the dream, I have been really attracted to my husbands best friend, and he seems to be interested in me too. He is really flirty and romantic. I am confused! What do I do???
View related questions:
best friend, flirt Reply to this Question
Share |
Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A reader, Jonny Boy, writes (2 February 2005): Hi there, first of all, liking someone else when you're already in a relationship happens so very often, and it doesnt help when the other person too reciprocates the liking by being flirtatious or exceptionally nice to you. And although I personally do not like the idea of my partner thinking about someone else while he/she's still with me, I understand that sometimes things like this can happen and that the attraction can fade out one day. However, it will only be fair to say that having these thoughts are not as harmful and bad as actually phsyically doing it. When and if you take the extra step and walk across the line, that's when the word 'cheating' comes into use and things can get very messy then. I know how it is to be in your shoes, but have you tried putting yourself in your husband's shoes?? How would you feel if he told you he's interested in your best friend(thats something very hurtful..ive been through it myself), or worse, he's having thoughts of getting it on with with her because he's tired of your bs, or worse still, he wants to end the relationship (thus, not giving you a say in the break up which means you'll have to go along whether you like it or not) to be with your best friend?? I reckon that thats gonna hurt so much more than a normal break up because this invloves your best friend. Why not try this. Tell yourself that you're still madly in love with your husband and talk to him about things (why ure upset...dont tell him about the other guy yet cause what ure trying to achieve here is to try and get the spark in the relationship and running again, if at all possible). If that fails(which usually doesnt unless you want it to), then tell him you want out!! You have to notice that this is just a phase you're going through and that guy could be any random guy for that matter and ask yourself this, are you gonna be cheating behind every single guy ure bored with whenever someone new gives you the extra attention?? If your answer to that is yes then I'm sorry to say that you're gonna have to get a grip of yourself cause no guy is ever gonna want to be with someone like that in a long term relationship. I guess its perfectly alright to think about it...oh you'll never know, hes probably fantasizing about anther woman as well...but is it really worth ruining what you have now?? I know its seems to be downhill at the moment, but sorry dear but theres no one relationship that goes rocketing all the way!! The main issue here is knowing where to draw the line and once you;ve managed to do that, trust me when I say you'll be proud of yourself and would want to keep doing it, which in turn, is of course very good for the relationship with your hubby. You'll even start to notice you'll want to fight for the relationship more and that you want him even more. The way I see it, its all a mind game. Anything to do with love is anyway!! I hope you think this over thoroughly cause whatever decisions you make now will determine the outcomes of your future. I'm sure you're an interlligent woman who knows whats best for herself. I hope you do eventually get around this, whichever road you may take. Good luck and take care.
|
